Maturing with Moxie by Jan Cannon

Author:Jan Cannon
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: University Press of New England

Probably the most important issue in multigenerational households is privacy. If there is any way you can help make this possible, such as converting a garage or basement, you should do it. The more available personal space there is, the better everyone will feel. Of course, helping with household tasks like cooking, cleaning, laundry, and shopping cannot be taken for granted, and should be discussed, to keep resentment at bay. And then there are guests. Decide with your child on visitor policies that you both can live with. Being honest about your feelings will go a long way toward creating a harmonious time together.

It can be both financially and emotionally challenging to have an adult child move back home. They may need a job, and you may feel that you want to support them. They may be in the process of a divorce, and you feel that you want to protect them and the grandchildren. What makes it extremely difficult is that you need to be concerned about your own finances for the future as well as taking care of them in the present. If the stay is going to be an extended one, it’s probably important to talk with your financial planner to determine how much might be realistically available to help them. It also might be important to talk with a therapist to be aware of the challenges of living under the same roof again.

Of course, the ideal situation would be that you have developed a relationship with your adult children that is more like a friendship. Even if you haven’t gotten very far with that attempt, there’s no time like the present to begin. It’s much easier when you can have a conversation as if you were talking with a neighbor, although there may be some rolled eyes and some “oh yeah, Mom,” responses now and again. It’s up to you to initiate and continue to make the effort to develop this mature adult-to-adult relationship. There are endless opportunities.

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