Manipulation by Moore Leonard

Author:Moore, Leonard
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2017-12-26T05:00:00+00:00

Use Guilt, Play the Victim

For people who are driven by emotion, manipulating feelings of guilt and playing the victim are two great ways to manipulate people. These ways have a tendency to be more obvious if you are not careful, but if you plant it properly you can use these without seeming like you are intentionally manipulating the other person. Instead, they will see that you “need” their assistance and they will be eager to provide it.

Using guilt means that you essentially guilt someone into doing what you are asking of them. There are many ways that guilt can be manipulated, depending on the situation at hand. For example:

● “But you owe me, remember when I helped you?”

● “You don’t want to disappoint me on my birthday again, do you?”

● “I recall you told me last time you purchased her a gift it was not what she wanted. You wouldn’t want to be responsible for two bad gifts, would you?”

● “I covered your shift last week and you can’t help me cover mine now?”

● “I run all of the errands that you ask of me, why are you going to try and make me do this one, too?”

By using guilt, you can make people feel as though they are obligated to comply or agree with you. Because you are able to point out a genuine reason as to why they “owe” you, they feel as though they have to fulfill that obligation. People do not like to feel indebted, and using guilt is a great way to make them feel as though they have to help you or do what you have asked. This is how they can make sure that they don’t “mess up again”, or “take advantage” after all!

Playing the victim works synonymously with using guilt to get your way. Playing the victim essentially means that you make people feel as though they are asking unreasonable things from you. As a result, they are more likely to comply and give in to what you want from them because they feel guilty that they were the ones “trying to manipulate you”, even though technically you are manipulating them with this tactic! It works like this:

● “I can’t believe you would ask that of me! After all I’ve done for you? Why would you take advantage of me like this?”

● “I have never once treated you the way you are treating me now, what makes you think that is okay? I don’t deserve this.”

● “I was only doing what you asked of me, it’s not my fault you didn’t ask clearly!”

● “What, am I not good enough to do _____ for you?”

● “Do you really think of me like that? What did I do to make you think so lowly of me?”

When you switch into the victim card, people automatically feel as though they have been unkind to you. Then, they turn into a mode where they want to “fix” the situation. That is where you get to offer them your solution.

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