Letters from War by Mark Schultz

Author:Mark Schultz
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Howard Books
Published: 2011-09-25T04:00:00+00:00

Beth?

“Yes. Here I am.”

She’s here but she’s still unwilling.

It’s nighttime and the melancholy shadows have surfaced. They’re coming too frequently these days. They’re not going away as often as they normally would.

Beth recalls the familiar story but sees it in a whole new light.

She wonders if she could do the same.

Take your son, your only son…

He’s already gone, she thinks in the silence of the house. He’s already sacrificed.

Beth?

The voice in her head says her name over and over again. It’s just her mind playing tricks, the silence getting to her, the demons of doubt whispering words in her ear.

Then again, she thinks, maybe it’s not demons. Maybe it’s God trying to get to me, trying to test me.

Or maybe free you.

It’s nighttime and she’s just about ready to write James a letter.

Where is the lamb for the sacrifice?

All this time. All these months. Almost two whole years.

Has all of this—the letters and the praying and the worry and the believing—has all of it been for nothing? Has it been wrong for her to carry all of this?

Beth thinks of her daughter’s words. Then she recalls the angel’s words to Abraham.

I know that you truly fear God. You have not withheld even your beloved son from me.

Holding the pen in her hand, Beth wonders. Is she still holding back? Has she truly given everything to God?

There is hope in this world. But there is also letting go.

“Lord, please show me the difference. Show me how to fear you and how to withhold nothing.”

She knows that even though she prays, she’s not ready. Not yet.

She needs help letting go. But there’s no one around who can truly guide her through that.

But maybe there’s something that will help. Something that you need to do. Something that you’ve put off for so many years. Maybe it’s time.

Beth buries the thought.

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