Laughing Through the Ugly Cry by Dawn Barton

Author:Dawn Barton [Barton, Dawn]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Thomas Nelson
Published: 2020-04-02T00:00:00+00:00

Tammi was jaw-droppingly pretty with perfect skin and a great figure. She somehow managed to have no cellulite after two kids (this is just freaky), and worst of all, she was as beautiful on the inside as she was on the outside. Just being in her space was defeating, not because of anything this poor woman would do, but because I was an emotional fruitcake focusing only on what I wasn’t when I was next to her.

I loved Tammi and wanted to be around her, but I had to figure out how not to feel so bad about myself when we were together. At some point I made a brilliant decision: I would find her flaws and focus on those. A logical and sane approach, for sure, and excellent building blocks for any healthy friendship.

FOCUSING ON WHAT IS

WRONG WITH PEOPLE,

RATHER THAN WHAT IS

LOVELY ABOUT THEM,

RARELY WORKS.

I told myself it might look like Tammi won the lottery in gifts, but she didn’t. Tammi was terrible at math, she didn’t like cats (okay, sure, she was highly allergic to them, but still), and she had a pinky toenail missing—like, no nail at all! And I hate to say this publicly (even though I did change her name for her protection), but Tammi wore white shoes after Labor Day. Oh yes, she actually did such a thing. Obviously, there was much to pity about Tammi.

But despite the sophistication of my plan, I didn’t feel any better. Turns out that focusing on what is wrong with people, rather than what is lovely about them, rarely works. In a healthy relationship you’re supposed to fill each other’s cups, be a blessing, and for the love of Pete, not focus on a girl’s toe.

I’ve spent many painful years wondering why I didn’t get the gifts other women had in abundance. I have always battled with my weight and have used it to measure whether I was worthy against other women. I have looked longingly at the beautiful, fabulous gifts of friends and strangers and asked myself, Did God forget to give me gifts? (Except for the hair gift, of course.)

I have finally stopped asking that question. It took some prodding and hinting and pushing, but when God started revealing more of my gifts over the last few years, I was at last ready to take notice.

FILL EACH

OTHER’S CUP;

BE A BLESSING.

Nine years ago, I entered the world of direct sales. Quite frankly, it wasn’t anything I thought I would ever do. A younger me would have told you that tattooed pigs would fly before Dawn Barton would ever get into direct sales. But one day I jumped in to help my daughter, and then I grew to love the business myself.

The culture was unlike anything I had ever experienced. Women were building up other women. They were kind to each other and cheering for each other’s successes. They were focusing on what every individual was good at, what her gifts were—and not focusing on the things she lacked.

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