Jennifer L. Jordan - Kristin Ashe Mystery 1 - A Safe Place to Sleep by Jennifer L. Jordan

Author:Jennifer L. Jordan [Jennifer L. Jordan]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi, pdf
ISBN: 9781883523701
Google: WoniAAAACAAJ
Amazon: 1883523702
Publisher: Spinsters Ink
Published: 2006-02-01T03:00:00+00:00

"How about Italian?"

"Fine, I'm starved."

Destiny started the car but then abruptly shut off the engine.

"Maybe we shouldn't be doing this, Kris."

"Okay, we can go somewhere else. No problem. How about Mexican? There's a great new restaurant on Broadway."

"No, I'm not talking about food. I'm talking about our search. Maybe we should call it off."

"Why?" I asked, genuinely perplexed.

She looked away from me before she answered.

"I'm scared," was her quiet reply.

I reached over to comfort her.

"I'm here for you, Destiny. We can slow down, or even stop, if it's too much for you."

"It's not me, Kris." She paused. "I'm scared for you."

"Oh," I mumbled, withdrawing my hand from her shoulder.

"I'm scared about the effect it's having on you."

"I can manage," I said curtly.

"I know you can, but the question is, do you want to?"

I'd honestly never thought about it that way before. I'd simply coped. Even as a young child, I had elaborate defenses. On some level, I think I always knew I'd been abused. In reaction to the abuse, I'd treated my parents, and sometimes even my brothers and sisters, with the same hatred and scorn I'd learned.

I coped by pretending and what a good pretender I was. I pretended not to need the innocent, loving touch a child needs. I grew up not wanting anyone to touch me.

I pretended not to need the love and acceptance that never came from my parents. I grew up unable to fully accept the notion that anyone could love me.

I spent most of my life and much of my energy pretending not to need the most basic things a child needs. And when I became an adult, it didn't become any easier. Even though I was away from the abuse, I couldn't stop pretending. The pretense had become as much a part of me as my arms and legs.

For the first time, Destiny's question shone a whole new light on things. I could stop coping by telling myself lies every day and start grieving the losses, the incredible losses that were my childhood.

"Yes, I want to keep going, Destiny."

There was silence.

"I had to ask, Kris. I hope I didn't offend you," Destiny said gently.

"You didn't," I muttered.

"Good. Then while I'm on a roll, could I ask just one more question?"

"Sure," I sighed.

"Can we eat Chinese? I'm not in the mood for Italian anymore," she said apologetically.

"Of course." I smiled and shook my head in disbelief.

Over a delicious meal of sesame chicken and lemon scallops, we chatted easily about everything under the sun except our families. After the dishes were cleared, she told me she'd called her father that day to tell him about her visit with her biological grandmother.

"What did he say?" I was astounded she'd had the courage to talk to him so soon, to bring her two lives together.

"Not much. He was surprised I'd met her. He asked a few questions about her."

"Did he seem supportive?"

She thought for a moment.

"I think he wants to be supportive, but it's hard for him, especially with my mom calling him every other day.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.