It Gets Better by Dan Savage

Author:Dan Savage [Savage, Dan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Group USA, Inc.
Published: 2011-02-06T08:00:00+00:00

LOOK AT THE MOON

by Agustín Cepeda

COLLEGE STATION, TX

Imagine what your high school looks like from the moon: its shape from above, how big it is in comparison to your city, the country you live in, the world. How important it is compared to all the places and experiences and people you have yet to meet. Try to envision your incarceration as a good time to plan your escape. It can be a very elegant and stylish and fabulous escape—you can plan your outfit and pick out the song you want playing on your iPod, because when you walk out the door, you begin the adventure that is the rest of your life. And it’s going to be an amazing life.

Right now I’m studying in Italy so my life seems unusually better. But it wasn’t always this way. I grew up in College Station, Texas, home of Texas A&M University, one of the most conservative campuses in the U.S. This conservative spirit was alive and well in my high school, which was not a place I felt comfortable being myself. I was lucky enough to pass, so I evaded taunting and humiliation. I didn’t come out until my second year of college.

The struggle I faced was internal. Even though I knew my family would be very supportive, I couldn’t imagine a future in which I would be gay and also successful. It just wasn’t part of my plan and I didn’t even want to try to imagine it.

When I finally decided to come out, I told a friend who was very supportive and not at all surprised, which kind of surprised me. Then I came out to another friend who encouraged me to tell my family, so I came out to my sister, who was over it in a matter of seconds. My sister and my friends took it better than I had ever hoped for and it was their collective indifference and their capacity to love me unconditionally that laid the foundation for me to accept and love myself. When I told my parents, it wasn’t news, just an acknowledgment that I was able to finally say it. As expected, it was a nonissue for them as well. I had their full, unconditional support. I’m aware of how lucky I am.

When people ask if it got better, I always feel strange saying yes, because it’s such an understatement. It does get better but it’s much more than that. Once I came out, my life was split in two and I was able to take everything that was great about my life at the time and integrate it with a new, confident, proactive, assertive me.

I suggest getting your hands on some gay literature or gay media. It helped me a lot to see other people being gay and confident and loving themselves. You’ll find out soon, I hope, that gay people are some of the most talented, hilarious, capable people you’ll ever meet. And the world really needs those kinds of people, so stick around.

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