Internal Family Systems Therapy (The Guilford Family Therapy Series) by Richard C. Schwartz

Author:Richard C. Schwartz [Schwartz, Richard C.]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
ISBN: 9781462513956
Publisher: Guilford Publications
Published: 2013-10-14T00:00:00+00:00

Internal Family Therapy

So far, I have described using in-sight to change a single part’s role or change its relationship with the Self. Some of the most important work with the IFS model, however, involves changing the relationships among the parts. Every client with whom I have worked has parts that are polarized with one another in ways that maintain each part’s extremes. One way to address these polarizations is to get the polarized parts to communicate directly. Again, this parallels the structural family therapy techniques of enactment and boundary making, which involve getting two polarized family members to face and talk to each other while the therapist ensures that they are hearing each other and keeps other family members from interfering.

Parts are often better able than family members to resolve long-standing conflicts quickly and evolve new relationships when they finally face one another. This is because most polarized parts have never seen one another as they really are; instead, they are usually isolated from one another and vie to influence or overtake the Self. While isolated, each part maintains extreme ideas about or images of the other(s), which are confirmed consistently by the other part’s (or parts’) extreme behavior.

Some of these ideas or images will change as one part watches the Self interact with its counterpart (a part with whom it is polarized) through the room technique described above. Thus, the room technique, in addition to improving the relationship between the Self and a part, sets the stage for bringing polarized parts together. In less polarized systems, this preliminary stage of giving each polarized part individual attention is not necessary, and all the parts can simply join one another in a room as they emerge. In highly polarized internal systems, however, the room technique is an important first step toward harmonizing the system.

In highly polarized systems, before bringing two parts together, it is wise to ask each whether it would be willing to talk to the other in the presence of the Self. The Self can reassure each that he or she can keep the other from becoming disrespectful or hurtful; the Self can indeed do this if he or she remains differentiated. The Self can also tell each part what he or she has learned about the other’s real nature, and can describe how much better things could be for each part if it could get along with the other.

When the parts agree to meet, the therapist has the client’s Self bring the two parts together, get them to face each other, and have them interact concerning how they might improve their relationship. The Self may want to preface their dialogue with a statement such as “I know you both have in common that you want something good for all of us; you just differ in what it is or how to get it,” or “Your battles are unnecessary and self-defeating. I want you to talk about how you can help each other, or at least get along differently.”

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