i 0e122463887d621b by Unknown

Author:Unknown
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2012-01-27T06:46:19+00:00

“You can kiss me back,” he said.

I pursed my lips toward him; we were kissing. It was harder work than I had imagined, and less immediately pleasing. In fact, it felt intriguing more than enjoyable – the shifting, overlapping wet and dry parts of our mouths and faces, the mild sourness of his mouth (it seemed so personal to be tasting Cross’s mouth), and also the way it was hard not to be conscious of the moment as it happened, not to want to pause and acknowledge it, even if only by laughing. I didn’t find kissing funny, but it didn’t seem that serious, either, not as serious as we were acting like it was.

He rose and twisted over me so that his legs were on either side of my hips and he was balanced on his knees and the palms of his hands. He had an erection, I realized, and I was slightly shocked. I’d heard, of course, that all boys wanted was sex, that they masturbated endlessly, and that any of them would do it with any girl, even if she was ugly. But I existed outside this world; no one ever tried to do anything with me.

Except that now, Cross was trying. And was his erection because of me or was it just the situation?

And if it was me – was I supposed to have sex with him? It didn’t seem like that would be a very good idea.

Over my nightgown, he gripped my breasts, squeezing one, then pressing his face to it, sucking the nipple through the cotton. I did actually laugh then – it felt ridiculous, like I was nursing him – but Cross didn’t seem to recognize the noise as laughter, which was probably for the best. “Do you like this?” he asked.

If I had liked it a lot, I wouldn’t have been able to admit it. But because I liked it only fine –

definitely I didn’t like it better than having my hair stroked – I said quietly, “Yeah.” He leaned down to reach for the hem of my nightgown – it was white and calf-length, those were the kinds of nightgowns girls wore at Ault – and as he started to push it up (was he planning to take it off me completely?) I stiffened.

“It’s okay,” he said. “I want to make you feel good.”

“Why?”

“Why?” he repeated. “What kind of question is that?”

So I’d said the wrong thing; really, it had only been a matter of time. “Never mind,” I said.

I thought he’d press me, that he’d say, No, what? ; I had so little idea of how it all worked. Instead, he ran his hand over my abdomen, my left hipbone, down to my thigh, then back to my abdomen. My nightgown was bunched around my waist, over my underwear, and I knew what would happen next – it was all a combination of suspense and not suspense.

He used two fingers, and I bucked against his hand, as if I were trying to help him find something inside me.

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