How to Talk So People Will Listen by Steve Brown

Author:Steve Brown [Brown, Steve]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: LAN004000, REL080000
ISBN: 9781441219602
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Published: 2014-04-11T04:00:00+00:00

Conversation: Rule 3

The third and final principle of good conversation is this: conversation is always harder to start than it is to continue. Three implications follow.

Implications of Rule 3

1. Almost all planning about the direction of conversation is wasted effort. One ought to plan how to start a conversation but not how to keep it going. Later in this chapter I’ll suggest some good and practical “conversation starters.” Some of you are going to want more than a starter. You want to know what to say after a conversation gets going. Trust me on this: you don’t need more than a starter. Like the engine of a car, once conversation gets going, it can be maintained with little effort or planning.

When I worked in commercial broadcasting, a pianist, the late Roger Williams, was giving a concert in the city where I did an evening radio show. The program director wanted someone to interview Williams. Even though I was the youngest man on the staff and had never done an interview in my life, I was the only one at the station available, so I was sent.

I remember walking into the auditorium where Roger Williams was sitting at the piano practicing scales. As I listened to him, I decided that the best plan of action would be to “fake it until I made it.” I planned to walk up and say, “Mr. Williams, I’m from WGBG and, as the top interviewer in this city, was sent to conduct an interview with you.” But the more I thought about it, the more I realized there was no way I was going to be able to pull that off.

When I walked up to the piano, Roger Williams stopped playing and turned to me. I said, “Mr. Williams, I’m from WGBG, and I’m supposed to interview you. I would like to tell you that I’m really good at this, but that would be a lie. The only reason they sent me was because I was the only one available. So, if you want to do this interview, I would like to do it. But if you would prefer to wait for someone more versed in this art, my feelings wouldn’t be hurt.”

Williams laughed, walked to the back of the stage, and pulled a chair up to the piano. “Son,” he said, “sit down here. I appreciate your honesty. Let me give you the first question to ask. Make sure you listen to my answer and you will know what question to ask next from how I answered the first question. We will continue through the interview that way. All you have to do is to listen carefully and do what comes naturally.”

It was a great interview! (In fact, I think it was one of the great interviews in the history of American broadcasting.) When I got back to the station, my program director said, “Steve, that’s fantastic! I didn’t know you had it in you.” I responded with something like, “I guess some people are naturally good at this business.

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