Holy Cow! an Indian Adventure by Sarah Macdonald

Holy Cow! an Indian Adventure by Sarah Macdonald

Author:Sarah Macdonald
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Random House Australia
Published: 2002-04-19T16:00:00+00:00


Jonathan and I awake to the smell of smouldering bonfires, the sounds of screams and the telephone. Simi and Vivek are calling to invite us around.

‘Wear something old and disgusting,’ Simi warns ominously.

I’ve never had an Indian tell me not to look nice and I begin to worry. I’m not the only one; Abraham declines an offer of extra pay to drive us to the party, it takes an hour to find a taxi driver who will work and he insists on double the usual fare.

‘Adj Dilli bahoot paagal paan he,’ the driver mutters darkly – today Delhi is very crazy.

We nervously drive through streets strangely quiet and devoid of the usual chaos of cars, cows and commuters. The only beings around are strange chameleon alien invaders with green hair, purple faces, pink clothes and red bodies. They stagger and lurch, shooting each other with water pistols. Holi is the day when the authorities turn a blind bloodshot eye to bung (marijuana), and the boys with toys are off their heads.

Our car pulls up at Simi’s flat and is suddenly surrounded by her screaming neighbours. They open the doors and pull us from our seats; a young girl rubs orange powder into my hair, a brash boy paints my cheeks pink with his hands and his mate circles my breasts with red. Screaming blue murder, I run for safety, dodging streams of coloured water fired from balconies. I’m not safe yet. Simi opens the door yelling, ‘HAPPY HOLI’, and pours yellow powder down my top, while Vivek rubs purple into my forehead. Jonathan staggers in like a creature from the blue lagoon with his mouth laughing shocking white teeth. We gulp a sweet marijuana milkshake for courage and join in.

Touching, chasing and flirting is normally considered outrageous behaviour in India but today sensuality is sanctioned. Even Simi’s mother gets into the action, scooping bright green powder down Jonathan’s pants and giving him a kiss. The bung is deadly. Within half an hour I collapse against the wall laughing hysterically, despite feeling that my head has split open and bugs are crawling out all over my body. It’s an even more toxic high than that given by the Kumbh gear and it gives a blistering bung-hangover.



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