Handbook of Clinical Issues in Couple Therapy by Wetchler Joseph L

Author:Wetchler, Joseph L
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Taylor & Francis
Published: 2011-11-15T00:00:00+00:00

Impact of Divorce on Children

There is considerable evidence that young children do serve as a barrier to divorce. Affection for their children and concern for their children’s welfare discourage some parents from dissolving their marriage (Heaton, 2002). Their children’s welfare is certainly a significant question for those contemplating divorce and evidence indicates divorce is a very difficult crisis in the lives of the vast majority of children who experience it. Most children grieve over the divorce and wish it were not happening. However, when we take the longer view, the kids are for the most part alright (Barber & Demo, 2006).

As is the case with research on the effects of divorce on partners, research on children of divorce is biased toward finding negative effects (Barber & Demo, 2006). Studies more often find negative than positive effects because they are designed to do so—they use measures of distress, clinical samples, and informants (such as teachers) who expect more negative outcomes among children from divorced families (Tashiro et al., 2006). Some of the most vocal professionals describing the negative impact of divorce on children include Judith Wallerstein and her colleagues (Wallerstein & Blakeslee, 2003; Wallerstein & Lewis, 2004). They conducted a longitudinal study on a small sample of families and concluded that divorce has a long-term negative impact on children. Five to ten years after divorce, they found approximately one third of the children showed signs of moderate-to-severe depression and other emotional problems. She describes a sleeper effect to divorce that impaired children’s love relationships into their adult lives. On the basis of her findings, Wallerstein currently recommends parents should stay in marriages if no partner pathology is present. These findings are frequently cited by policy makers to make a case for the damaging effects of divorce on all children.

Although several authors have noted the need to assess the positive as well as negative effects of divorce on children (e.g., Dreman, 2000; Stewart et al., 1997), like the research on adults, existing data are piecemeal and unsystematic. Because few studies have specifically asked about positive outcomes and there are no standard measures of growth outcomes for children of divorce, it is difficult to estimate the frequency with which children are enhanced in at least some area of their life as a result of a divorce (Tashiro et al., 2006). Nonetheless, studies do show that there is a great deal of diversity in how children are affected by a divorce, and that for some children divorce can be a growth-promoting experience.

In one study, L. Kurdek and Siesky (1979) asked a direct question about growth, and 84% of parents reported that their children had acquired strengths that could be due to the divorce. In another study, Stewart et al. (1997) asked parents a more neutral question about major changes in their children, and 39% of the mothers reported that their child’s behavior or personality had improved. In that same study, two thirds of the children could think of something that was better after the separation.

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