For the Save (Playing for Keeps #4) by Amber Garza

Author:Amber Garza [Garza, Amber]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Amazon: B010ORS7LM
Published: 2015-07-16T23:00:00+00:00

Mom was no help at all. On Sunday morning I found her nursing her hangover with a gallon of coffee. She was hunched over the kitchen counter sucking it down like it was water and she’d returned from a week in the desert.

“Rough night?” I hadn’t even spoken loudly, but she jumped and then grabbed her head in her hands. She could be in an anti-drinking ad right about now. When she faced me, I cringed. Mascara ringed her eyes and her hair was plastered to her scalp in curly tangles.

“It was fine. How was yours?”

My insides twisted, but I smiled. No way was I explaining what happened to Mom. Then she’d go all “mom” on me and want to talk things out, and I so wasn’t in the mood for that. In fact, I couldn’t think of any moment in my life when I was in the mood for that.

“Fine,” I lied as I maneuvered around her to grab myself a cup of coffee. After pouring it, I leaned my back against the tile counter and faced Mom. “Hey,” I said, “did Dad say anything to you about him and Ben having an argument the week Ben died?”

Mom appeared stricken, but then again she always looked that way when Ben was mentioned. “No. Why? Did they?”

It was then that I realized Mom probably shouldn’t have been the first person I spoke to. Of course Dad didn’t share this with her. If he had she would’ve used this in her defense the night he was laying all the blame at her feet.

“I don’t know.” I shook my head. “I guess I was just trying to figure out why Dad left.” This was one advantage to keeping secrets. Mom had no idea I heard she and Dad fighting that night. I’d never said a word.

“Oh, honey.” Her face crumbled, causing panic to rise inside of me.

I couldn’t do this with her right now. Shoving off the counter, I almost spilled my coffee in the process. But I had to get out of here fast before she wanted us to grieve together, before she tried to comfort me, and before she turned those sad puppy dog eyes on me. I set the cup down and hurried out of the kitchen. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything,” I muttered, keeping my head down as I walked. “I’m fine. Really.”

Luckily she didn’t follow me. But I pictured her crying into her coffee cup, and guilt practically swallowed me whole. That was a dumb move. I had to be smarter from now on. Had to think through a plan instead of blurting things out to everyone. Ben had never been one to keep things to himself. He wasn’t a loner. In fact, he always had people around him. Over the years he’d even been teased for over-sharing. Lost girlfriends over it too. That’s why it was so weird that he’d taken his life without talking to anyone about it first.

But I knew that if he had a fight with Dad he would share it with someone.

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