Finding Inner Safety by Dr. Nerina Ramlakhan

Author:Dr. Nerina Ramlakhan [Ramlakhan, Nerina]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780857089243
Publisher: Wiley
Published: 2022-05-09T00:00:00+00:00

Sarah's Story

I worked with 29-year-old Sarah who had been signed off from her workplace for more than three months. She was suffering from panic attacks and extreme anxiety – and she couldn't sleep. She said she had always been this way since childhood – sensitive, anxious, and sleepless. Talking to her it was clear to me that she had inherited something that was playing out in her current life. I asked about her parents and their lives. She told me that her mother's mother, her grandmother, had died suddenly of cancer when Sarah's mother was 15 years old. Sarah's mother was forced to leave school to become the family breadwinner and care for her younger siblings. Her mother had always carried the mark of the sudden and traumatic loss of her own mother along with a deep sadness and regret that she hadn't had the opportunity to continue her education and follow her dreams of becoming a nurse or doctor. Sarah said her mother often half-jokingly referred to herself as being ‘thick’ and ‘uneducated’.

Fast forward to the current day and I saw how this was played out in Sarah's life as she described classic traits of her own ‘imposter syndrome’. She was bright and intelligent and clearly respected and valued at work, but constantly felt ‘not good enough’ walking around with a constant fear of ‘being found out’. She said other people thought of her as ‘ditzy’ and a bit silly, not very bright. She carried the fear of failure to bed with her, finding it hard to let go and relax. She told me she was even afraid to close her eyes at night and woke up every night with nightmares. Sadly, she had found that cigarettes, alcohol, and a weekend recreational coke habit took the edge off her fear and anxiety. I saw clearly why she was on a very slippery slope and I really wanted to help her.

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