Feeding My Mother by Jann Arden

Author:Jann Arden [Arden, Jann]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Random House of Canada
Published: 2017-11-21T00:00:00+00:00

April 12, 2015

The care facility called me yesterday to tell me that Dad had tried to escape. “Not to worry,” they said. “We caught him before he got to the road. We’re going to keep a better eye on him.”

Apparently he went out a back door and down the alley on a beeline for home. He can hardly walk, so I can only imagine what “beelining” looked like for him.

It doesn’t surprise me. No matter how long he will be living at his new place, he will be trying to get back to us. It’s heartbreaking and heartwarming all at the same time.

Mom said she fully expects to look out the window one day and see Dad coming through the gate. “He could make it out here, Jann, he’s that determined.”

All of us have some sort of homing device at the very centre of us. We want to go home, always home, back to where we belong. Life is about belonging for me. Belonging to something, belonging to someone, belonging somewhere. No matter where I go, no matter how far I am across the globe, I am pulled back by a giant elastic band that is wrapped around my body a million times. Home. I know that’s how Dad feels. His elastic is constantly pulling at him.

It’s weird not finding Dad in his chair when I walk over to their house. He sat in it so much his head practically wore a hole through it. The chair just sits there now like something lost. There is something creepy about a chair that belonged to one person being empty. I want to set it out in the trees where we can’t see it, but I know my mother would have a fit. Even though she says she doesn’t like looking at it, she still wants it there in the middle of the living room.

I keep reminding her that Dad won’t be coming home to sleep anymore. I don’t want to lie. I don’t want to make up some story that will make her keep wishing for him. It’s not right. I don’t lie to my dad either. When he asks when he will be coming home, I tell him that he will come to spend the afternoon and have dinner, but never to sleep. I tell him that those days are over. I simply cannot lie. It’s not fair on any level. People may disagree with me, but I can’t do it.

Mom is doing a little better every day, so that’s a relief. She has the big dogs sleeping in the kitchen every night now so they are in heaven. They make her feel safe. I figure they will slowly make their way upstairs to her bedroom. They are good dogs, though, and I don’t know what we’d do without them.

Mom told me that she was pretty sure they’d just let the burglars through the front door and show them where all the treats are. That made me laugh. Without laughter, all is lost.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.