Embodying Authenticity by Eunice Aquilina

Author:Eunice Aquilina
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Live It Publishing

Competence – does this person have the skills, resources and the capacity to do what they have committed to?

Reliability – does this person take care of the situation and me consistently over time?

Engagement – does this person care about what is important to me? Are they open to listening to my concerns?

Individuals and groups will move forward with us because they assess us as being trustworthy and credible. In that moment of conflict with Helena, once her system could feel my centred presence, she could relax. From this place we could build trust with each other.

As we discussed in chapter one, sensation only happens in the present moment and paying attention to our sensations brings us present to ourselves. When we are present to ourselves, with practice, we can also become present to another by learning to have our attention both on our own sensations and simultaneously on the other, what they are doing, saying and feeling. We can observe what is without prejudice or bias and be in choice about how to intervene.

When we extend our attention and listen from a centred presence, we can “hear” our intuition. Developing our capacity to sense or intuit the needs of those we are working with, to have a felt sense of their concerns in the moment, is a very intimate move in creating trust. Strozzi-Heckler describes connecting with our intuition through our bodies as ‘clairsentience’, clair meaning ‘seeing clearly’ and ‘sentience’ meaning ‘capable of feeling’ or ‘conscious of’. Through the body, we can learn to “feel and sense the individual’s underlying habits of thought, emotion, motivation and behaviours”12. That said it is important for us to hold our intuition as ‘data’ and not as a truth, a place for us to be curious and to explore. Our next story from Wendy Oliver, an executive coach and team facilitator, illustrates how she discovered the root of her client’s professional issue by paying attention and sharing her own felt experience.

“I was coaching Sean (not his real name), the CEO of a financial organisation and in one particular session he was talking about how to have a conversation with a particular employee who was making a request which Sean felt was inappropriate.

I noticed as Sean was talking about the situation that my upper body was contracting and that I felt anger rising. I asked Sean how he felt about having this conversation and he said fine and that he wanted to ensure that he covered all that he needed to say in a respectful way. At this point he went on to talk about some of the details of what he might say in that conversation.

As he continued to talk, my chest got tighter and my throat felt constricted and again I felt the sensation of anger. I also had my own story of ‘why doesn’t he just say what he wants to say and why is he appeasing?’ I had a choice, I could either carry on down the route of discussing what to say in the conversation or I could do something different.

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