Dirty! Dirty! Dirty! by Mike Edison

Author:Mike Edison
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781593764678
Publisher: Catapult
Published: 2018-05-16T00:00:00+00:00

THE YEAR AMERICA celebrated its two-hundredth birthday was also a big year for Larry Flynt and Hustler. Art director Bob Flora outdid himself with the iconic cover of Hustler’s “Super Bicentennial Issue”—an American-flag G-string worn by a deliciously tan woman (all you could see were her navel and her glowing thighs), and her curly pubes bubbling over the top of the flag. Hard to imagine that Penthouse and Playboy were in the brambles, fighting about whiffs of pubes popping up inside their magazines, and then along came Flynt with the colonies’ most patriotic pussy, front and center.76

It was a good year for underdogs. Rocky won the Academy Award for Best Picture, and Flynt mounted a campaign to run for president. As tongue-in-cheek as it may have been, candidate Flynt made some salient points in his campaign literature.

“The Founding Fathers,” his first position paper stated, “may very well have penned those words life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, but they returned home to rule over their slaves and dominate their obedient housewives and children. They never in their wildest dreams imagined a society so diversified that minorities and women would actually participate in government. What resulted is a government by tradition, not by Constitution . . .

“I will immediately initiate legislation in Congress for massive social reforms. The first such law will levy a heavy fine against all qualified and able Americans who fail to VOTE. The American people must be made to realize that their vote is the real strength to be reckoned with . . . Teachers will earn at least $30,000 a year77 . . . I will put my full support behind the ERA78 . . . I will ask congress for legislation exempting all US Servicemen from paying taxes; their paychecks are a pittance as it is.” A Flynt administration, he promised, would be dedicated to ending the arms race, exposing corrupt politicians, and putting power back in the hands of the people. He added that he would appoint Al Goldstein as chief justice of the U.S. Supreme Court.

Flynt lost to Jimmy Carter, who himself almost tanked the race after the famous interview he gave to Playboy—possibly the last truly important interview the magazine ever scored. Carter, by all accounts the rarest of birds—an honest politician—was responding to a question that the reporter asked while walking out the door: “Have you ever committed adultery?”

Carter claimed he did not even realize that the tape machine was on when he gave his answer, quoting from the Bible, as he had earlier: “I’ve looked on a lot of women with lust. I’ve committed adultery in my heart many times,” he said, explaining that he was just like any other man, no better. His response was not included in the version of the interview given to Carter to review for publication—one of the ground rules of the interview, since the idea of a serious presidential candidate’s talking to Playboy was entirely uncharted ground and not one necessarily popular with the president’s staff (it was also the last time that a president would talk to Playboy).

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