Dealing with the Tough Stuff by Darren Hill & Alison Hill & Sean Richardson

Author:Darren Hill & Alison Hill & Sean Richardson
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780730327011
Publisher: Wiley
Published: 2015-12-29T00:00:00+00:00

The first strategy in dealing with resistant behaviour is to roll with the resistance. Rolling with the resistance means not matching it by reciting every reason for why someone showing resistance shouldn't feel the way they do — your recitation just becomes a sales pitch to someone who is not ready to buy. The risk of pushing too much at this point is that the resister will dig their heels in even more — especially if they believe their standpoint is well founded. Managing resistance is difficult to do well because it can mean giving up your right to be right, even when you are right, in order to create outcomes that work better, and to prioritise functionality over ego. If we reflect on Shannon and Billie in the case study, Shannon's decision was well founded and well intentioned, but it wasn't until she gave up the need to defend her position as being the right one that she could have a conversation about what may be getting in the way for Billie. By letting go of her ego she could have a conversation about what the real issue and barrier was. From there it was easier to address the problem and move forward.

The goal is to move someone from being resistant to being receptive to change. In order to do this, people need the opportunity to vent and to have their point of view heard and acknowledged. It's important to realise that you can understand someone's point of view and not agree with it at the same time. This is a particularly powerful skill for a manager to develop. Later in this chapter we will explore the power of empathy, which is the cornerstone for ensuring the other party feels heard.

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