Big Island, Small by Maureen St. Clair

Author:Maureen St. Clair
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Fernwood Publishing
Published: 2018-10-10T16:00:00+00:00

SOLA

JUDITH IS ON THE phone speaking in a crackling loud whisper. “I think I’ve been raped.” Judith’s whisper turns wet and watery. I sit on the edge of the bed with a copy of Middlemarch dangling from my hand, phone supported by my shoulder, while I bite the flesh bubbling at the sides of my nails. I chew and listen to Judith pulling tears through her nose. “Judith I don’t know what else to say,” after the absence of words grows like a puddle spreading into river.

“Okay,” she says.

“Don’t have anything more to do with him. He’s an ass, Judith. I couldn’t understand why you were with him in the first place. I will call you after my exam tomorrow. Okay? Judith okay?”

“Okay.”

“Go and sleep.”

What does she want me to do, catch the next bus to the city so she can explain how she thinks she’s been raped by this guy? How does she not know but thinks she’s been raped by a man she’s been sleeping with for the past month, a guy she says means nothing to her, nothing but sex and movies.

A click on the other end of the phone and Judith is gone. I notice blood circling the outside of my nail, a piece of nail hanging. I rip it with my teeth, feel the flesh let go and more blood rise and drip onto the middle of my white t-shirt. I take my shirt off, throw it into the sink, bandage by finger and scrub out the stain with soap and water. I leave the shirt in the sink, flip my phone shut, toss George Eliot against the wall and kick the chair out of my way. Kat swings her head through the crack of the door.

“You okay?”

“I don’t understand her.”

“Who?”

“Judith.”

“You two have a lot to work out.”

“Okay whatever Kat.”

I grab my jacket, put on my running shoes and run down the stairs. It’s late, I have an exam tomorrow but my heart is beating fast and I know I will never be able to sleep now. I tell myself I will walk and study. I will go over the essay questions the teacher gave us that she said would be on the exam. But instead I’m studying my own words that flew out of my mouth moments earlier to Judith. Words dropping out like foam spilling from beer. “Why were you with the man anyways? Why were you going over there? Something wrong with you?”

And I think of Mikey’s words. “So why you at the man’s house Sola? People see you Sola.” Mikey and I under the flowering skin-up tree. We are both sitting crossed-legged on the bench. Our hands weaving through soft green and purple peas. I search for worms the colour of grass crouched hiding at the bottom of the calabash. “Sola if you lying to me I swear to God I’ll beat you worse than Thompson ever did.”

“They lie,” I say. “Confusion people.” Words I heard on the road every day when I was a child.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.