Around the World in 80 Lays: Adventures in Sex Travel by Joe Diamond

Around the World in 80 Lays: Adventures in Sex Travel by Joe Diamond

Author:Joe Diamond [Diamond, Joe]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Autobiography, Dating, Family, Health & Fitness, Non-Fiction, Prostitution, Psychology, Relationships, Sex Trade, Sexuality, Social Science, Travel
ISBN: 9781602392878
Google: -S40ngEACAAJ
Amazon: B0029F1WCE
Publisher: Skyhorse
Published: 2014-07-28T23:00:00+00:00


CHAPTER EIGHT

Rio Express

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN IAN AND ME WAS THAT I DIDN’T SIT around and mope when I got hungry for Rio. Instead, I came up with harebrained schemes to get myself back there. One of my aborted ideas involved launching a website for gringos filled with reviews of Rio’s hookers: “GarotaGuide.com. Get the Best Bangs for Your Bucks in Rio. Copacabana’s Hottest Girls Reviewed and Rated for Your Convenience.”

As I explained in a proposal I emailed to some mongers I knew who had a soft spot for Brazil, the site would invite mongers to rate pros on everything from looks and hygiene to ability in bed to “overall bang for the buck.”

The kicker, though, which would have allowed us to stand apart from other monger websites like ISG and WSG would be an online “Garota Tracking System” where we’d input the latest sightings of specific girls. “Click the girl’s name and a mock GPS screen shows, for example, her shifting her base of operations from Help to Solarium to Centaurus, etc.”

One friend told me to add to the review criteria “blow job ability and, also, how fast she wants to leave your apartment to get back to work.”

Another friend wrote back: “Seriously folks, that is the kind of job I am looking for. What a great job that would be. A Brazilian Programa Rater. I would let them all know that I was the U.S. rater, and that if they didn’t swallow, I’d give them a rotten review.”

Sort of like Hotels.com reviewers.

Sometimes I go even further off the deep end. Especially when I take Triazolam, the generic version of the sleeping pill Halcion. In the period between ingesting the pills and zonking out (usually a half hour), I’ve sent emails I don’t remember writing (including an “advice column” to porn actress Shy Love which I’ll tell you about later), consumed food I don’t remember eating, and relieved myself to porn I don’t remember seeing. Once, I created this webpage, which I thankfully never attempted to seriously promote:



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