An Unforgivable Secret (Amish Secrets--Book 1) by J.E.B. Spredemann

Author:J.E.B. Spredemann
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: fiction, romance, love, friendship, forgiveness, death, relationships, healing, pennsylvania, secrets, miscarriage, christian, grace, amish, ohio, abortion, post abortion syndrome, purity, christian fiction, bitterness, mistakes, mourning, premarital sex, regrets, amish fiction, chiclit, pas, horse and buggy
Publisher: J.E.B. Spredemann

Chapter 19

So many questions swirled through Samuel's mind as he picked up his pace, heading toward the house. If Hannah had been pregnant before...

Samuel stumbled into the kitchen where Hannah sat at the table staring into nothingness. “Was the boppli mine?” Samuel blurted out as his heart pounded with emotion. He feared the answer, but realized he needed to hear it just the same.

Hannah remained silent. She never thought this day would come, prayed it would never come. Why couldn’t her secret have remained hidden? She had been getting along fine, coping the best way she knew how. Why did this have to come to light? She squeezed her eyes shut, willing Samuel to go away.

“Please, Hannah, I need to know. Was the baby mine?” he pleaded. His heartbeat now thumped in his ears.

Unable to avoid the question any longer, Hannah hung her head in defeat and whispered, “Jah.”

“Dear Gott, no.” Samuel didn't attempt to hide his disappointment or mask the anger in his voice. “Why? Why didn't you tell me?” he asked in a shaky voice as tears threatened.

“You said you loved me!” Her accusing stare shot through to his heart.

“I did love you,” he insisted.

“Then why did you leave? Why didn’t you stay here and marry me? After what we…” Tears choked out her words and she swallowed the lump in her throat. “I thought I meant something to you.”

Samuel's eyes held sympathy. He wanted to reach out and pull Hannah close, but he didn't. “Oh, Hannah, you meant a great deal to me. That is partially why I left. I knew that if I stayed here that you and I would have to marry immediately. Because there’s no way on this earth, after that night in the barn, that I’d be able to keep my eyes or my hands off of you. Imagine the scandal that would have caused. And Christian, I couldn’t do that to him. I couldn’t lose his friendship.” His words mocked him and he inwardly winced at the irony of it all. “I knew that if I went away, you would eventually go back to Christian. And everything would return to the way it was.”

“So you sacrificed me for Christian?”

“Jah, in a way, I suppose. But I truly thought you’d be happy with Christian.”

“I love Christian; he is a good man. He’s been kind and caring…till now.”

“Hannah, I wish you would have told me about this. We could have worked something out. Don’t you think I had a right to know that you were carrying my boppli?” Samuel felt as though a vice had clamped down on his heart and with every word it squeezed tighter.

“I couldn't tell you, Samuel,” she whispered in a desperate tone. “You weren't here. You'd left to marry Carolanne.”

“But if I'd known, I would have –”

“You would have what, Samuel? You would have informed your best friend that his betrothed was in the family way with your boppli? Would you have told your beloved Carolanne, ‘I'm sorry; we

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