All or Nothing-Taking the Odds 03 - by James Buchanan

Author:James Buchanan [Buchanan, James]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

chAPter 16

Brandon shucked his jacket on the way through the house. Between the chatter from the television and the bike in the garage, Brandon figured Nicky had come home…maybe for a late lunch. “Hey, Nicky,” he called over the sound of the TV. Nicky’d left the idiot box tuned to the WWII channel—at least that’s what programs they seemed to be running every time Nicky flipped it on.

“Hey, yourself,” answered him from the computer room. “I’m in the office.”

Brandon tossed his jacket onto the couch as he passed. “Edith wants to know if chicken enchilada casserole is okay for lunch.” Late lunch or early dinner, but they hadn’t stopped to eat since leaving that morning. “One of the gals from Jewish Family Services brought it by as we drove up.” Stepping into the doorway of the front room, Brandon scowled as Nicky spun his chair around to face Brandon. “I quote, ‘it’s chicken, it’s hot,’” the moment they hit the driveway Edith started pestering him about eating; “‘we should eat it now.’” Brandon couldn’t really even begin to look toward a meal. Minutes into the future seemed beyond his grasp, much less eating and bed and waking up tomorrow. “Is that okay with you?” With Nicky home, Brandon could pass the decision off to him.

“If you like it, I’ll eat it,” Nicky waffled.

Brandon needed Nicky to tell him which options for dayto-day living—the small picture—would work. He had, because of his training, a decent grasp of the big picture, like getting Shayna’s name and face in as many places as possible. That would, someday, bring her tiny, violated body home. Inevitable as that outcome was, Brandon had to somehow figure out how to put one foot in front of the other. Little things, such as whether he really needed a shave or when to shovel food into his mouth, just escaped him; unraveling into a thousand strands of options he couldn’t get a hold of. Finally, Nicky nodded and Brandon took that as an okay, so he yelled back toward the kitchen, “Edith… casserole is fine.”

“You look beat.” “I am.” If he looked as worn out as he felt, Brandon figured he looked like absolute shit. “Amazing how much doing nothing wears you out.” It took all of Brandon’s mental energy to deal with Shayna’s disappearance. What little was left he used to force himself to put one foot in front of the other and attempt sleep. After that, a hollowed out shell encompassed his being. Brandon wished he could care more about Nicky, or his job, or fuck, even Edith and Dian.

“So, what are you doing?” He could mouth the words right now…spit out lines pretending at interest. Maybe, someday, actual feelings would back them.

Nicky turned back to the computer. “Putting together a website.” He moused around the screen changing colors and moving objects.

“For what?” Brandon came around the end of the cot and sat down. He picked up Shayna’s pillow and clutched it to his chest, turning his chin down into the end.

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