A Very Special 90210 Book by Tara Ariano

Author:Tara Ariano
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Abrams
Published: 2020-09-22T00:00:00+00:00

Erica Becomes a Woman; Methy David Loses Erin

SEASON 4 | EPISODE 17

THICKER THAN WATER

Andrea thinks she has the flu. You’ve seen TV before, so you know that’s not what she has, because it isn’t possible for a straight lady on TV to experience nausea and not have a fetus on board, but Andrea—the only heterosexually active college girl (not to mention pre-med student) in the history of the world not to have an unplanned pregnancy be her first thought—is flabbergasted by the revelation that Jesse’s boys can swim.

Dylan’s recently arrived (alleged) half-sister cannot swim, literally, but we’ll get to that. A woman named Suzanne Steele (Kerrie Keane) turned up a couple of episodes previously, claiming that she and her tween daughter, Erica (Noley Thornton, laboring under a heap of Ren Faire hair), had lost everything in a flood—and that Erica was the product of a fling with Jack McKay back in the ’80s. Dylan, always craving any connection to Jack, chooses to believe Suzanne’s swindlish backstory in order to bond with the sibling he didn’t know he had, which is sweet, in theory. In practice, the relationship between this very world-weary 19-year-old and a young girl who still makes paper-plate crafts even though she’s old enough to menstruate comes off a little weird . . . especially in this episode, when Erica does menstruate, for the first time, during a (somewhat creepy, sorry) swimming lesson with Dylan. (“‘Thicker Than Water,’ GET IT?!” Ew, show, yes.) When we were that age, we’d been eagerly prepared for the first-period eventuality for months, stocking our purses with “products.” Erica is a simpleton, however, and not only doesn’t have a Kotex but also doesn’t ask one of the other women in the women’s restroom for help, so Dylan has to blunder through the situation and it’s awkward and weird. It’s also awkward when Jim Walsh’s background check on Suzanne turns up her $25K stash, but Suzanne has an answer for that, and even admits she’s not 100 percent sure that Erica is Jack’s daughter, an admission that makes her seem more trustworthy. The risk (and her careful selection of a lonely target) pays off.

Things aren’t going so smoothly for David. He and Donna have broken up thanks to his drug use (and his being a bitch in general), and he’s whinging about their split during his radio show (siiigh). Told to shut up about his personal life and play less-depressing music, David yells at station manager Howard that Howard gave him the meth in the first place, and now he expects Howard to come through with some downers to take the edge off. No dice, so he heads home to reject Donna’s doormatty invitation to join a Big Bear ski trip by implying that they broke up because she wouldn’t put out. Finally stung enough to rip him a new one, Donna smooches a ski-shop dweeb, leaving David to deny to Kelly that he’s using, then take forever to help himself to his dad’s

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