A Springwater Christmas by Linda Lael Miller

A Springwater Christmas by Linda Lael Miller

Author:Linda Lael Miller
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Pocket
Published: 2009-11-24T00:00:00+00:00


CHAPTER

9

WHAT HAD SEEMED like a good idea in the night, Jack reflected ruefully, studying his reflection in the mirror over the bureau in his room the morning following the shearing, had lost much of its appeal roughly five seconds after he’d opened his eyes. He looked—well, like himself. The self he’d been trying to leave behind for the better part of his life.

He rubbed his chin, now bare except for the daily stubble. June-bug had nearly recognized him the day before; if she or Jacob got a close look at him now, without the beard and mane of hair, the game would be up. It didn’t seem to matter that facing them was the right thing to do, plain and simple; he was afraid—afraid of their grief, afraid of their justifiable anger, afraid of being overwhelmed by his own sorrow and guilt. Anybody would have said he was a coward. But “anybody” hadn’t walked in his shoes, hadn’t been there, on that battleground, awash in somebody else’s blood, and no one who heard the tale secondhand could truly be expected to understand what had taken place that day.

He was due in the bottom of the mine in less than an hour, and he still needed to fetch his horse from the Springwater Station, a job he dreaded more that morning than ever, given his new appearance. He wasn’t ready to face Jacob yet, though he knew it had to happen one day soon.

Leaning against the bureau, hands braced against the edges, he lowered his head. It would be no kindness to the McCaffreys, what he had to say to them. On the other hand, he didn’t figure he’d have a chance of ever calling his soul his own, if he didn’t. And then there was Olivia. Until he’d met her, he hadn’t known it was possible to want a woman that much, and leaving her would be like having a part of himself torn away.

“Make the choice, you bastard,” he muttered. “Go or stay. Tell the whole bitter, ugly story, or ride out and never look back. But decide, damn you. Decide.”

He straightened, rubbed his chin. He’d been raised to believe that the truth was always better than a lie, even when it was hurtful to tell and to hear, and the conviction went bone deep. Still, he’d rather have saved Jacob and June-bug the gruesome details of their son’s death, and all that had come later. In many ways, that was the worst part.

What he had to say to them could only add to their anguish, not assuage it. The vivid images, the sounds and smells, would haunt them after that encounter, instead of being his alone, they would impress themselves on the backs of their eyelids, inside their nostrils and ears. Honorable people, decent and good, they would bear the weight of his shame for the rest of their lives.

Forcibly, he turned his thoughts back to Olivia. She’d wound things into a tangle, bringing June-bug to the house while he was there, and there was no getting past that.



Download



Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.