A Mail-Order Bride For Christmas by Suzanne D. Williams

Author:Suzanne D. Williams [Williams, Suzanne D.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: UNKNOWN
Published: 2016-10-01T05:00:00+00:00

Lafayette clutched her to him and imagined what it’d be like to give in, to fuel the ardor of his flesh with the emotions crowding his heart. They pulled him forward, willing him to unite with her at last, a new voice, louder than the rest, telling him it’d be different this time.

His disbelief held him back. He couldn’t quite believe in himself anymore.

You have loved, and it meant something, Pigeon had said. But had he? There lay the last of his doubt. Had he loved the girl or had he used her? She’d said all the girlish things a young woman in love will spout, and he’d laughed and returned them. How much of that had been a lie? And even if it wasn’t, he’d not stood by her when she’d needed him.

Pigeon wriggled, tilting her mouth his way, seeking his kiss, but he tucked her tighter, unwilling to give in. His soul had lightened with telling her of it, but not his guilt or his urge toward self-destruction. He knew the Scriptures, had heard the simpleness of what she’d said. He’d preached the same to many who’d been under his spiritual care, but that’s what made his behavior so much worse. He’d trodden underfoot the very words he’d spouted.

The room grew silent and still. Pigeon’s breaths became even. Her body slackened, he released her and reversed. She was none of the things he’d expected, but everything he would have chosen. She wore his ring and shared his name. She now carried his past as well. But between them and the future lay a bumpy road shrouded by trees and banks of snow, every curve hiding the view on the other side.

His hand rose to her cheek and rested there. Impetuous, unafraid because she slept, he bent forward and sampled her lips. His mind shifted back to the parsonage and the girl in his arms, to what in hindsight felt more like greed. Greed and avarice, lust that’d driven him to take, seeking satisfaction, but finding none, and the girl … a sweet, innocent girl had paid the price.

He didn’t want to do that to Pigeon. He wanted to be sure of himself first and able to look others in the eye without thinking of his failure. How Christmas and the church fit into that he didn’t know, but he drifted to sleep better than he’d been hours earlier, if not one quite hopeful yet.

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