Ziggy, Stardust and Me by James Brandon

Author:James Brandon
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Young Readers Group
Published: 2019-08-05T16:00:00+00:00

(stillstillstillstill smiling)

Oh, I’m so sure, too. I’m so so sure.

(Me exiting Purgatory, still smiling from cheek to cheek. Smiling so hard my cheeks actually hurt. Smiling past Debbie, the receptionist. Smiling until the elevators close. Smiling until I see myself reflected in the steel. Smiling until the crying waterfall bursts through me in ten thousand tears . . .)

* * *

—

Church bells clang me back to the living room. No, Dad’s ice cubes are rattling against his glass. And he’s yelling at me, or the TV. One can never be sure where he’s looking when he’s one . . . two . . . three drinks in. It’s the TV.

Is that guy’s face actually skipping, or is it the stupid side effects? No, it’s skipping. Dad arrggghhs, flips up the recliner, slaps the side.

“Can’t trust no one no more. Not even the damned president. And all this new terrorism crap, people hijacking planes? What in the hell’s the world comin’ to? Git me another drink, willya, son.”

I grab his glass, duck under the bar, pour the usual. The guy on TV rattles on:

“I told the president about the fact there was no money to pay these individuals to meet their demands. He asked me how much it would cost. I told him that it might be as high as a million dollars or more. He told me that was no problem.”

“Voted for that crook, goddammit,” Dad yells to the air. I wait until he stops thrashing in his chair before handing him the glass. He looks like an elephant seal. And smells like one, too. Like he just flopped out of the stinky lake and left himself baking onshore for a few days. He’s decided to only live in his Dennis the Menace boxers as of late: Father’s Day gift from Heather’s little boy, I guess. Whatever. I gave him the best present any dad could ever ask for: a Shiny, Brand-Spanking-New, All-Cured Son!

I curl back on the couch.

A cigarette dangles from his lips. “When I voted for that guy a second time, I said ain’t no other way he could’ve won that much without lying and cheatin’.” He’s flickflickflicking the penis lighter, but only sparks shoot out. I hide my face under Grandma’s afghan so he doesn’t see me laugh. When I peek up, she’s laughing so hard her painting vibrates. She winks at me. “Ain’t no one can get ahead in this world without some lying and cheatin’, GODDAMMIT!”

“Here, let me.” I crawl to the other side of the couch, grab his cigarette and lighter, and start flicking it myself. Now he sees what I saw and a laugh comes roaring out, which quickly turns into a heaving cough.

“You okay, Dad?”

He nods and shoos me away.

A couple more penis flicks and I hand the lit cigarette back to him. Grandma looks down, worried.

“Where’d you learn to do that?” he asks after a few more chest thumps.

“What?”

“Light a cigarette.”

“Oh, I don’t know. Watching you, I guess.” I turn back to the TV.

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