The Prisoner's Wife by Asha Bandele

Author:Asha Bandele [Bandele, Asha]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780671021481
Goodreads: 139272
Publisher: Scribner
Published: 2010-05-08T00:00:00+00:00

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there was a time after we were married when Rashid sent me a letter detailing some of the restrictions which were being imposed upon incarcerated Muslims. Access to the room they used as the mosque was suddenly restricted, which in turn affected the ability of the men to pray together and to fellowship. Then, suddenly, the Department of Corrections wanted to control the food choices for Muslims on their holy day celebrations (food that the men pay for themselves). Bights were being chipped away at slowly but consistently, leaving the men in an odd predicament. The rights that they had lost were too small to provoke any widespread uproar, yet if things continued along the path they were headed, soon they would have no rights at all.

Rashid closed his letter to me with a quote which is reported to have come from the Prophet Muhammed. It read,

Whoever of you sees an evil action, let him change it with his hand; and if he is not able to do so, then with his tongue; and if he is not able to do so, then with his heart—and that is the weakest of faith.

I wrote a fast and thoughtless response to Rashid which thankfully I never did wind up mailing. Out of concern for his safety, I’d told him to leave all these issues alone, but I tore up my letter because if my baby didn’t take a position, then who would take a position? The media and politicians have constructed prisoners as people who have adopted religion as a con game, and perhaps some have. Some prisoners may use religion as a tool to get a few small privileges. But most of the prisoners I have encountered are deeply committed, sincere believers. I mean, wouldn’t you be, surrounded by noise, anger, violence, depression, and steel, wouldn’t you give your life over to a greater power?

Rashid may be the most sincere man I have ever known. And he has always been religious. As a child in Guyana, he was a deeply committed, Sunday-school-going, Bible-quoting Christian. The years between Christianity and Orthodox Islam saw him embrace the Five Percent Nation, Masonry, and the Nation of Islam. His beliefs now, the longest held of all of them, seem to me a very natural progression.

And so the question was, how could I do it? How could I say to him, Baby, please, hold back … let someone else do it … can’t you just pray and be silent … Me, a woman who lives all of her life in public, on the page, asking her partner to restrict his expression. I knew I wasn’t being fair, but I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. Was I supposed to willingly sacrifice the man I love to prove my own sociopolitical commitment? Was I supposed to be ashamed that I’m a woman who just wants her man to come home, and not in a body bag?

When he helps another inmate file a grievance or get

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