The Oak Leaves by Maureen Lang & Maureen Lang

Author:Maureen Lang & Maureen Lang
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: FICTION / Christian / General, FICTION / General
ISBN: 9781414368894
Publisher: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.
Published: 2007-04-30T16:00:00+00:00

24

I believe it was the great poet Shakespeare who counseled, “Give thy thoughts no tongue.” This, at times, is exceedingly difficult—no matter how noble the motive.

For the last two months I have seen little of Peter. (And is it not significant that I have found little of which to write in this journal? More so, perhaps, than I care to admit.) Beryl tells me Peter spends his days at Parliament and his evenings at Pall Mall playing cards, billiards, or some other waste of time. Anything but coming home, at least until well after everyone is abed.

Beryl makes it clear she finds her brother’s behavior unusual, repeatedly inquiring if we had some sort of row while at the coast. She calculates that to have been the changing point, when Peter began avoiding home—or me.

But of course I have admitted nothing. I cannot tell Beryl the entire truth and still honor Reginald’s wishes not to talk about the details of my family curse. Besides, what would it serve to share everything with Beryl, except perhaps to bring about a quicker end to any hope she carries for Peter and me to find a future together? Beryl must come around to that conclusion on her own, sooner or later.

My relationship with Reginald becomes more puzzling by the day. Indeed, it seems hardly necessary to have brought Millie along as chaperone, since Reginald never calls to take me anywhere on our own. He rarely visits, citing business concerns taking most of his time. He has been a faithful escort at various social events, but even at soirees he seems to pay as much attention to Beryl or Christabelle as to me.

On one of the rare occasions he was here, Lady Hamilton urged him to set a date for the wedding. She hinted at the idea that a date might be all Dowager Merit needed to give her final blessing. But Reginald seemed strangely indecisive as to when we will marry. It was clear he wanted to marry me, but having him agree to the slightest detail has yet to happen.

I could not deny my relief, if only to myself.

There is another element to my hesitation, something I cannot ignore no matter how hard I try to believe the best of Reginald. While he claimed to my parents that he was active in the Church of England, that he was anything but a heathen, I see little evidence of anything beyond the shallowest faith. Once, when I suggested we pray over the matter of matrimony, I saw a look in his eye that disturbed me. Intense feeling but hardly a passionate reverence. Until he laughed away the mood I knew a moment of confusion—almost fear. I was left not knowing how he felt about prayer—whether he thought it intensely foolish or a matter for laughter. Either is profoundly disturbing.

I often wonder if Reginald’s vacillation about marrying me stems from my strained relationship with Dowager Merit. Is he waiting to make sure marrying me would be worth it? The dowager is cordial to me in public.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.