Silver Shades of Grey by Kanwaljit Soin
Author:Kanwaljit Soin [Soin, Kanwaljit]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9789813233737
Barnesnoble:
Publisher: Ws Professional
Published: 2018-05-03T00:00:00+00:00
People tend to be healthier and live longer if they are in a happy and romantic relationship and for decades researchers have observed these âmarriage benefitsâ.
A study done by two Taiwanese academics and published in 2013 in the journal Age and Ageing examined around 300 adults aged between 65 and 74, taking blood samples along with details of their marital status, wealth, lifestyle, and physical and mental health. The authors said their study found that unmarried, widowed or single older adults had shorter telomeres while couples and older adults with higher incomes were associated with longer telomeres. Telomeres protect the bodyâs chromosomes and the DNA they contain. Longer telomeres limit damage to cells and so financially secure older couples tend to be less prone to cancer and heart disease and the effects of ageing. Telomeres are also the timekeepers of the body and it is thought that longevity is associated with longer telomeres. Thus, it seems that the biological clock ticks more slowly in couples because marriage could maintain telomere length in older adults. The authors warned: âUnmarried older adults or those with lower income may be experiencing accelerated cellular ageing.â
The conclusion that one could draw from this study is that stability in marriage and financial security are two factors that reduce stress in life and thus lead to longer and healthier lives.
In the book Inside the American Couple, edited by Marilyn Yalom and Laura L. Carstensen, there is a chapter called âMarriage in Old Ageâ. The findings reported in the chapter were that older married couples were happier than younger couples. Also, even self-professed unhappily married old couples were less unhappy than in their younger days. Old married couples say they have less conflict and arguments with age as gendered roles become less obvious. Erotic bonds are less important but there is more intimacy and friendship.
Mark Twain expressed the same sentiment when he wrote in his notebook in 1894, âLove seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.â
In most cultures, women tend to marry men who are older and womenâs lifespan is about 5 years more than men. As a consequence, older men remain married all their lives while women spend about 10 years of their lives in widowhood. Widowers tend to get remarried but this is less common for widows. Thus, there are many more old widows than old widowers.
Also, due to the gendered nature of ageing, women become âsexually ineligibleâ much earlier than men and are unable to find partners as they get older.
According to the same book cited earlier, Susan Turk Charles and Laura L. Carstensen who are the authors of the chapter âMarriage in Old Ageâ state that western marital customs are well designed for men. âAnd at the end of life, when marriages appear to be more happy than ever before, women are more likely than men to spend their last years alone.
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