Running Scared by Shirlee McCoy

Author:Shirlee McCoy
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Steeple Hill
Published: 2010-01-17T16:00:00+00:00

TEN

Church hadn’t been important to Kane when he’d been a young attorney just starting out in New York. After his marriage to Sophia, he’d attended services sporadically, spurred on by his wife. When she’d died, he’d gone back to his old habit of sleeping in, figuring that Eli was too young to benefit from church.

He’d been wrong, of course, and he’d spent a lot of years regretting it. After all, Kane’s childhood had been filled with church activities and church friends. He’d attended camps and youth group meetings. He’d even gone on a mission trip when he was in high school. He had known what faith was, had a firm foundation in the Bible, but he’d never felt he needed God. Until Sophia died. Until Eli disappeared. Until Kane’s sorrow had threatened to eat him up from the inside out.

That’s when he’d found himself on his knees, crying out to God, begging for a miracle. He hadn’t gotten it then, but Kane had finally understood what it meant to need God, and it had humbled him. Since then, church had been a big part of his life. He enjoyed the fellowship, the worship and the feeling that somehow he was connected to something much greater than himself.

Too bad his son didn’t feel the same way.

Eli stood beside him, staring down at the hymnal Maggie held, but he was not singing. Kane wanted to tap him on the shoulder and insist that he participate, but what would be the point? It wouldn’t mean anything, and it would only put more of a rift between them.

He sighed, and, as they sat, he rubbed the back of his neck and tried to ease some of his tension. Being around Eli was like walking a tightrope. Every step was a study in balance. Too far one way or too far the other might send them both spinning out into freefall.

“Come to Me all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” The pastor’s words cut through Kane’s thoughts, and he focused his attention on the lanky, fortysomething’s message. It was similar to others he’d heard, but this time it struck a deeper chord.

Rest.

That sounded great to Kane. He’d barely slept in the past few days, and in the years preceding those his sleep had often been restless and filled with nightmares. His faith had floundered, his need to know what had happened to Eli, why it had happened, overshadowing everything else.

Rest.

It wasn’t an easy thing to find when your mind was filled with worries and your stomach churning with sorrow. That’s something Kane had learned in the past five years, something he’d come to accept.

But I want it, Lord. I want that kind of rest. The kind that doesn’t depend on circumstances, but depends solely on You, he prayed silently as the sermon ended and the congregation stood for the last hymn.

Maggie handed him a hymnal, her fingers brushing his, the contact sending warmth up his arm. He wanted to grasp her hand, hold it as they sang the final hymn, but he knew she’d pull away.

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