Promises to Keep by Ann Tatlock

Author:Ann Tatlock
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: ebook, book
ISBN: 9781441214744
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Published: 2010-12-15T10:00:00+00:00

chapter

23

“Tillie?”

“Yes, child?”

I shifted my weight on the stretcher, trying to still the butterflies beating against the lining of my empty stomach. I hadn’t slept well, wasn’t allowed to eat breakfast, and was about to be wheeled into the unknown. I was certain the Grim Reaper was waiting for me in the operating room at Riverside Hospital, waiting to slash me right into the kingdom of unlucky statistics. I would be one of the few who died while getting her tonsils out. Too much anesthesia, a slip of the knife, an allergic reaction – the reasons were endless, the possibility of death just around the corner and moving closer by the minute.

“Tillie?”

“Yes, Roz. What is it?”

I found little comfort in the grip of her hand. It would be my last human contact before . . .

“You’ve been sedated, child. Just close your eyes and relax.”

“But, Tillie?”

She sighed.

My mouth felt dry and hollow, a barren cave. I gritted my teeth and tried to work up some spit, then moistened my lips with the tip of my tongue. Finally I managed to ask, “How do you know if you’re going to end up in heaven or . . . you know . . . the other place?”

Her hand came up and gently pushed my hair off my forehead. “Well now,” she said with a smile, “as my dear mother always said, that all depends on who your father is.”

“Who your father is?” The butterflies threw themselves against my stomach wall in one huge rebellion. I was certain I was going to be sick.

“Tillie,” Mom said, suddenly there, “the nurse says they’re ready to take her now.”

“But – ”

Tillie patted my shoulder. “I’m glad you asked, Roz, but we’ll talk more about all that later.”

Mom kissed my forehead. “I love you, Roz. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

And then I was being wheeled down a long lifeless corridor by wordless people wearing white. I stifled a scream as the foot of the stretcher bumped up against a pair of double doors, pushing them open and letting me in to what I could only imagine was the gateway to death itself. If my getting into heaven depended on Daddy, I didn’t have a chance. He had promised to change, to stop drinking, to be a good person, but he wasn’t all those things yet – probably wasn’t even close, and I was the one who was going to have to pay for it.

My mouth hung open in silent protest, and the room went blurry as my eyes glazed over, but at the same time a kind voice above me said, “There, there, don’t cry. We’re going to take very good care of you.”

I recognized the nurse who had been with me from the beginning, her matronly face so serene I wanted to dive into that peacefulness and have it swallow me up. She dabbed at my eyes with the edge of the sheet and murmured soothing words, and that was the last thing I remember before I fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.

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