Perfect Romance by Duncan Alice

Author:Duncan, Alice
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: humor, san francisco, historical romance, humor romance, titanic, 1915
Publisher: Alice Duncan

Chapter Eleven

“Good Lord in heaven, Loretta Linden, what did you do now?” Marjorie rushed down the porch steps and hurried to the cab while Malachai exited his side of the vehicle and stomped to Loretta’s side. “I was so worrit when Dr. Abernathy telephoned! I swear, ye’re the most contermashious person I’ve ever met!”

Loretta, already furious with Malachai and Jason, became furious with Marjorie next. “I dinn do an’fing,” she announced thickly.

“Och, my land!” Marjorie pressed her hands to her cheeks. “Ye look just turrible!”

With her own cheek now swollen up like a pig’s bladder, it was difficult for Loretta to scowl effectively, but she did her best.

“Did you hide her clothes?” Malachai asked as he reached inside the cab to take Loretta’s arm. She tried to swat him away, but he wouldn’t let go.

“Aye. I thought Dr. Abernathy was codding, but he said he wasna.” She hurried over to assist Malachai. “Is she coggly on her shanks?”

With a chuckle, Malachai said, “Probably, although I don’t know what that means.”

Marjorie lifted her hands and let them drop. “I’m sorry. I’m sae upset. It means wobbly on her kegs. Legs.”

“Yes,” Malachai said, “she’s coggly.”

An irate Loretta gave in to Malachai’s bullying and allowed herself to be assisted in exiting the cab. She was about to look in her handbag for money when the captain preempted her. Drat the man!

“Keep the change,” he growled at the cabbie.

The cabbie saluted.

Totally enraged, Loretta grumbled, “Dohth everyone do thah to you?”

He scowled down at her. “Do what?”

“S’lue.” She demonstrated.

He grinned. “Only those who know what’s good for them.”

And with that, he picked her up and carried her up the porch steps, leaving Marjorie standing there with her arms extended and with nothing to wrap them around. Loretta, who would have loved to give the brute of a captain a piece of her mind, couldn’t. Worse, she was relieved not to have to walk.

How humiliating. How embarrassing.

How heavenly.

Lord, she was weak. She hurt much worse than she’d admitted to Jason. Her entire left side, from her shoulder to her ankle, felt as if it had been rammed by a locomotive. She was afraid to see what she looked like. Also, Jason had frightened her badly with his speech about sacroiliacs and so forth. Loretta wasn’t even sure what a sacroiliac was, but she wouldn’t be surprised if hers was cracked, because everything—positively everything—hurt.

Marjorie, having caught up, hurried across the porch ahead of them, opened the door and held it open for the captain. He carried Loretta inside. Her entire household staff lined the entryway. Mrs. Brandeis, her housekeeper, was wringing her hands. Molly and Li, her maids, shrank back against the wall and looked as if they might faint from terror. Even Mr. Hunter, who managed her grounds, had wormed his way indoors and was at present strangling his hat in his two big brawny hands. He looked worried, too.

In a frightened whisper, Marjorie said, “Is it true that a big man knocked her to the ground?”

“Nnnnnn,” said Loretta.

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