My Big Fat Zombie Goldfish by Mo O’Hara

Author:Mo O’Hara
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: A Feiwel and Friends Book

“Too slow, moron!” he said, then burped a perfect smelly Evil Scientist burp and headed out of the cafeteria doors.

The burp was nearly gross enough to make me sick, but not quite.

Bbbrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnngggggggggggg! The fire alarm blared.

Everyone ran out into the hallway.

“There’s no way Mark could have blown up our science lab already, right?” I said to Pradeep.

The teachers were assembling people in lines at the classroom doors, ready to exit the building. But the alarm stopped. Then the TVs that were in the hallway by the front desk (you know, the ones that usually show pictures of the swimming team coming twenty-seventh in a race, or advertise a sale at the uniform shop) all came on at the same time. The secretary’s computer screen switched on too. And the whiteboard screens in the classrooms all showed the same letters scrolling across them: B B E D L A M.

Suddenly a voice boomed out of all the speakers. It had one of those distort-effect things on it, so the person talking sounded kind of like a robot.

“Now we got your atten—” one person started to say, but then there was a shuffling sound and a different, snootier robot voice said, “No, let me … Ahem. Now that we have your attention. We want you to know that this school will soon be run by BBEDLAM. We’ve taken over.”

“I’m sure bedlam only has one b,” Pradeep said.

“And we know that there is usually only one b in bedlam. We’re not morons, we are being original, OK, so get over it. Where was I?… Oh yes, BBEDLAM has taken over the school. You may now go about your pathetically ordinary lives and await further instruction. There is nothing that can stop us.”

“Except the moron fish,” the other voice butted in. My backpack swung from side to side as Frankie thrashed around.

“Be quiet!” shouted the snooty voice. Then there was what sounded like someone being elbowed in the ribs. “We are live on air, remember!” The snooty robot cleared his throat and continued, “Nothing can stop us now, so don’t even try.”

Just before all the TVs, computers, and whiteboards switched off I thought I heard the first voice say, “Aww, you cut it off before my evil laugh.”

Pradeep shot me a look that said, “They said fish, right?” but I didn’t really understand the look so he said out loud, “They said fish, right?”

I nodded and shot him back a look that said, “And they said moron. And they talked about an evil laugh.” Pradeep didn’t really get that look either so I said it again, out loud. Then I said we had to practice our secret looks because we were both kind of rusty.

We agreed that the first weird robot voice must have been Mark. Frankie reacted to the voice as soon as he heard it. Pradeep was sure the other one was Sanj. But what was Sanj doing here and why was he with Mark? They aren’t even friends. The only thing they have in common is being mostly evil to me and Pradeep.

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