Melting the Snow Queen by Mary Lancaster

Author:Mary Lancaster [Lancaster, Mary]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Scarsdale Publishing, Ltd
Published: 2020-01-23T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter Eleven

Alba didn’t sleep much anymore, and she had come to hate lying in bed in the dark wide awake, swamped by memories, by thoughts of things she could and should have done differently. It was as if there were no good times to be remembered, no good people to be trusted. She attributed every act of everyone—except, perhaps, the twins—to cynical motives, and saw no beauty in anyone or anything, certainly not in herself. Only the snow seemed pure, covering the ground like a blanket, falling relentlessly from a black sky.

It was that which drove her outside in the night. She had dismissed Siddons after being unlaced, but after gazing out the window over the white, sparkling countryside for some time, she donned her furs, took a blanket from her bed and quietly let herself out of the house.

She didn’t really know where she was going, she simply followed the reflection of the moon in the snow. As she trudged on, a certain peace descended upon her. Life was better out here in the cold, sharp snow. She could feel it stinging her cheeks, seeping into her feet through the sturdy leather of her boots.

After some time, she realized it couldn’t really be the moon’s reflection—the sky was too cloudy to reveal much of the moon. But something had drawn her to the frozen lake where she’d often skated in severe winters. Most recently, she had come with Rose and the twins. That was a good memory.

She’d come here once with Yuri. And Oscar and Rose. The men had taken turns rowing in the sunshine and she had tried to ignore the tingling of her body when Yuri’s muscles rippled beneath his shirt. And when he had taken it off, when he had dived into the water to swim…

He had been beautiful then. Perhaps she would remember that rather than the awfulness that followed.

The lake was still frozen hard with a deep layer of snow over the top that prevented the ice being too slippery. She walked out to the center of the lake and stood for a moment gazing up at the sky. Yes, there was the moon, shining directly, briefly down upon her. She must look as white as the snow in her furs with her too pale, white skin.

She dropped the blanket at her feet. It looked ugly and dark, so she lay down upon it, covering it up, so that all she could see was whiteness.

She had been right to come. Because she had no more strength, and it was here that she would find her only peace. She embraced it.

***

Kai woke to see Alba’s maid leaning over him, a single candle held in one hand. This was not usual.

He sat up.

“Has her ladyship been here?” Siddons demanded.

Kai blinked. “No. That is, I haven’t seen her. I’ve been asleep, Why, is she not in her bed?”

Siddons shook her worried head. “No, the maid who lights the fires noticed the bed curtains were open and her ladyship not there.

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