Lizzy Bennet Meets the Countess by Don Jacobson

Author:Don Jacobson [Jacobson, Don]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2017-10-01T04:00:00+00:00

Jean: Look. Monsters. Weed. Imagine what we could do.

Maxie: Oh, I am imagining exactly the screams we can get.

Tommy: Ellie, Georgie and Lizzy will die. But we need to be quiet and sneak up on them.

Jean: Perhaps a diversion will help. Tommy, get that bathyscope Maxie’s Papa made, and convince the girls to wade out with you.

Tommy: (Objecting, waves his hands in disgust before doing what Jean wanted.)

Within moments, the two remaining boys had draped weed all over their heads and shoulders and grabbed a lobster in each hand. Sneaking across the beach, far enough away from their seniors to be deaf to any protestations made (none were), they charged across the sand screaming at the top of their lungs. The three girls shrieked, quickly splashed out of the shallows, and took off down the beach. Tommy circled back to the basket to get his weed and lobsters to add his contribution in driving the girls to distraction.

The youthful laughter and gasps of outrage finally stirred the men into action. Gathering the lobsters from the boys, the men tossed them back into the basket. The reprieve for the dinner guests due to be dinner was to be brief despite the outrage expressed by all six youngsters who announced to the world at large that it was impossible for them to eat anything that had been murdered before their very eyes.

Kate and Maggie had joined the assembly by this time. A less likely-looking Countess could not be found as Lady Fitzwilliam grabbed her husband’s mug and tipped back a giant gulp, earning a foam mustache for her troubles. Henry came over and gently wiped away the residue with a grimy thumb, leaving an ash-black mock-stache under her pert freckled nose. Seeing what he had done, Henry put icing on top by rubbing the end of her nose until she looked like one of the Dowager’s Frenchies.

His attentions, followed by Maggie’s snort of laughter, clued Kitty into the violation of her cosmetic scheme. Another beach chase ensued with Henry somehow being captured by his more diminutive spouse. As the Earl and Countess rolled in the sand, the others looked away. In due time, much to Tommy and Eloise’s embarrassed relief, they returned, he with dark glasses smudged and she brushing grit from the back of her beachwear.

Henry, as proprietor, then assumed control of the kitchen and began marshaling his forces. The Wilsons were deputed to dump ears of corn into one of the kettles bubbling over the fire. Tomkins was tasked to throw a dozen American sausages (what Mr. Roosevelt advised were called ‘hot dogs’ in the States) on a grate over the far end of the fire pit. This, the children were assured, was to be their dinner. Jacques oversaw making fresh potato crisps, also in the American style; deep-fried and sprinkled with sea salt. Madame Brouillard captained the buffet set on a trestle table.

While the younger set were diverted by visions of hot dogs, mustard, crisps, corn, chilled melon and

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