I Have Iraq in My Shoe: Misadventures of a Soldier of Fashion by Gretchen Berg

Author:Gretchen Berg
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Iraq War (2003-), Personal Memoirs, Historical, Biography & Autobiography, Military, Cultural Heritage, History
ISBN: 9781402265808
Publisher: Sourcebooks
Published: 2012-05-01T06:25:49+00:00

JULY 12 - SUBJECT: Hi!

Hey Gretchen,

We have had an unexpected increase in enrollments for our summer conversation classes, and so we’ll need you here in Suli for August and September. Please let me know when you will return to Erbil.

Cheers, and see you soon!

Jill

NOOOOOOOOOO! The blood drained from my face. This was not a good birthday present. I did not want to move to Suli! Erbil was my home away from home now! I decided I did not like Jill anymore. She wasn’t the boss of me! Once we had gotten past his petty threatening, Warren had promised me I would be teaching in Erbil for the entire duration of my contract. Where was he? Oh yes, he was on his summer vacation. Stupid Warren, on his stupid vacation. He wasn’t due back in Iraq until September and did not take time out of his stupid vacation to respond to my desperate emailed pleas for clemency.

I immediately began to freak out. Things were different in Suli. No one likes change. Never mind that I would be thrust into the belly of the university beast, with its dramatics and bureaucratic confusion and inappropriate-theory-concocting chancellor; there were no microwaves in the Suli villas. How would I cook? Okay, not cook, but how would I heat things up?

I really would be like poor, downtrodden Scarlett, forced to yank cold vegetables out of the ground and eat them raw. And even worse, the commute between home and school required coordinating with other teachers and drivers, not just walking down the stairs of the villa. My shoes! They were in danger! This was serious. There were also no Progressive Dinners, no Bakery & More, no J&K Women’s Fitness Center & Spa, and no paddling-pool Real Housewives time at Katherine’s villa.

Wow, I sounded spoiled.

Once again, I found myself sobbing into my metaphorical apron. “I can’t think about that right now. If I do I’ll go crazy. I’ll think about that tomorrow.” I’m pretty sure Scarlett would have been pissed if she had gotten that news on her birthday. I’m also pretty sure she would have marched straight to her closet, whipped open the doors, and proceeded to console herself by ripping open the myriad boxes from YOOX, Zappos, and Barneys that had been waiting for her. There is always solace to be found in Jimmy Choo gladiator sandals.

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