Grandparenthood by Dr. Ruth Westheimer Dr. Steven Kaplan

Author:Dr. Ruth Westheimer, Dr. Steven Kaplan [Dr. Ruth Westheimer, Dr. Steven Kaplan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Political Science, Public Policy, Cultural Policy, Social Science, Anthropology, Cultural, Popular Culture
ISBN: 9781315786865
Google: ip_rvQEACAAJ
Publisher: Routledge
Published: 1998-01-15T03:42:48+00:00

A Fairness Doctrine

If you have more than one grandchild, you are inevitably going to be concerned about being fair in your gift-giving. If you remember that the gifts you give are part of a relationship, not an end in themselves, this should be easier. Being fair does not mean giving the same thing to each of your grandchildren, giving a gift to each of them when you give something to one, or even spending precisely equal amounts on them. It means treating them as individuals and finding ways to give each one the gifts that will bring the most pleasure.

It is a good idea, however, to keep track of your gift-giving, especially if some of your grandchildren live close by and see you frequently and others are far away. One New York grandfather I know was surprised to discover that he was spending almost twice as much on his Connecticut granddaughter as on the one in Florida.

I know this may seem rather petty to you, but I have at least one friend who still harbors resentment over the favoritism her grandparents showed her brother. And your adult children may also resent it if they feel that their children are getting shortchanged in favor of their cousins.

While we are on the topic of competition, don’t get yourself into the trap of competing with your in-laws as to which grandparents can spend the most money. It is hard to give wisely if you are thinking more about your in-laws than your grandchild. If you have less money, you just need to be a little more creative and original in your gift-giving and generous with what you do have, whether it be time or attention. Be happy that your grandchildren can benefit from the extras they receive from the other side of the family.

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