Don't Make Me Pull Over! by Richard Ratay

Author:Richard Ratay
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Scribner

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I. The Orange Krate was a bike of almost indescribable beauty. It was one of Schwinn’s Sting-Ray bicycles, a line of bikes designed to resemble the top fuel dragsters popular in the 1970s. The Orange Krate came complete with raised handlebars, functional rear shocks, a banana seat with racing stripes, and a sweet five-speed Stik-Shift mounted on the top bar. The proud owners of these magnificent machines were the envy of every other kid in Kid-dom.

II. Bubble Yum’s texture was so different from other brands that it sparked a pernicious rumor. According to some, the reason for the gum’s pliability was a secret ingredient—spider eggs! The rumor became so potentially damaging to sales that Life Saver was compelled to place a full-page ad in the New York Times and other publications to deny its veracity.

III. Bubble Yum’s key asset—its stickiness—also became its chief liability once the joy of blowing an enormous bubble had burst. It was nearly impossible to remove the tacky aftermath of a large Bubble Yum bubble explosion from one’s face and hair. In an attempt to exploit that disadvantage, rival gum manufacturer Wm. Wrigley Jr. Company introduced a similar but less sticky brand of bubble gum, Hubba Bubba, in 1979. American Chicle launched another competitor, Bubblicious, in the late 1970s. But I remained a Bubble Yum loyalist throughout my youth.

IV. Candy cigarettes were sold in packs of ten, in boxes resembling those of their tobacco cousins, in boxes resembling popular cigarette brands but with fictitious names like “Kings,” “Target,” and “Stallion.” In the 1950s, actual cigarette brand names were used—Salem, Pall Mall, Winston, and others. The only discernible difference in the packaging of the two products was the addition of the word candy next to cigarettes in tiny type beneath the logos. Apparently tobacco companies were willing to overlook a little trademark infringement if candy cigarettes helped them recruit a new generation of customers.

V. Aside from its fame as the last remaining Howard Johnson’s restaurant, the operation is also significant for giving one of America’s most famous chefs her start. Rachel Ray worked there as a teenager.

VI. I like to think that a few of Pastor Schuller’s faithful flock completed their mortal journey years later in New Roads, Louisiana. It was here, in 1977, that the Point Coupee Funeral Home introduced the nation’s first drive-through funeral service.

VII. Dave Thomas never lost his enthusiasm for drive-throughs either. Long after his face became familiar to millions in countless Wendy’s TV spots, Thomas would regularly visit restaurant franchises around the country. On occasion, he’d don the headset of the drive-through worker and surprise customers by personally handing over their orders.

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