Dear Gangster... by Gangster of Love

Author:Gangster of Love
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2011-01-24T00:00:00+00:00

Dear Gangster: No one is paying any attention to me anymore. When I first started working at this place guys were always asking me to go to lunch or, at the very least, take a fifteen minute break to talk over a problem or something. Now, nothing. I eat alone. I break alone.

—I Am the Alone One

Dear Alone One: No one’s been talking to me lately either but I’ve been playing this new game at work called “Everyone Is Trying to Impress Me.” If someone stops by a desk near mine to talk to someone else it is only in the hopes that I will overhear and find them interesting. If someone mentions they bought a new dress I immediately picture them pushing hangers through the racks to find that one particular dress they believe will please me. I can hear them snapping at the sales clerk, “No, no, no. I’ll know it when I see it.” Someone could walk in this office right this second and hold up the keys to a brand new car and I would naturally assume that they spent the $15,678 in hopes the sporty little number might catch my eye. I like getting in this mind set. It’s a real booster. Oh, look at her making extra copies at the Xerox machine. Everyone knows she only needs two copies of that report but she’s making ten because the machine is in my line of view and she thinks sooner or later I have to look up and notice that provocative stance she’s been trying to sustain for the last eight minutes. It’s sad.

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