Come Into My World by Sean Kennedy

Author:Sean Kennedy [Kennedy, Sean]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2018-02-11T18:30:00+00:00

Chapter Five

I paced around the flat like a madman, replaying the scene in my head over and over again like a porno of pain.

I even dug out my phone and tried to call Joel and get him to come back.

He didn’t pick up. Why should he? And why should he want to come back here, where I had humiliated him? Not even humiliated—shat upon everything in his life and everything he loved. I did that, me, who lived in fear of everything and couldn’t live any semblance of the life I wanted to. Joel lived his life openly and was good to everybody, and everybody loved him in return.

And I had fulfilled my darkest fantasy of making everyone turn against me.

And that was when I allowed myself to cry. Great, big, self-pitying howls that later on I would wonder hadn’t brought any of my neighbours running to the aid of the murder victim. Then I remembered I had alienated most of them too.

I tore my clothes off, desperate to get the smell of sex and Connor off me. Not that I blamed him for what happened. I knew it was entirely all my own doing. I just wanted to be clean and fresh before I thought about my next plan of action.

Instead I sat on the floor of my shower, doing the good old clichéd “sitting under the running water, oblivious to everything else” cry. At least the bathroom and the water muffled my snot-ridden hiccups and wheezing.

Once I cried myself out I dressed and sat on the end of my bed. And realised the smell of Connor was probably on the sheets, so I stripped the bed and threw them in the washing machine before putting on clean ones.

For one brief, mad second I actually thought about calling Connor and getting him to come over. Just to talk—I felt like he might be the only person left who would actually speak to me.

And I remembered who I really might have a chance with.

Who I felt safest with.

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