Bet on Talent by Dee Ann Turner

Author:Dee Ann Turner
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Leadership;BUS071000;BUS097000;BUS030000
ISBN: 9781493419289
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Published: 2019-06-26T16:00:00+00:00

Saying No

“It is kindness to refuse immediately what you eventually intend to deny.” This was a favorite quotation of my mentor, Jimmy Collins. He used it as a teaching lesson about making people decisions. It was important to him, and to me, that we not drag people through a long selection process and delay what we sometimes know to be true—that it’s not going to work out for us to select the person. It is a principle that works in every part of life.

When I was a teenager, my dad promised to buy me a car for my sixteenth birthday. It was a very special type of car that I really wanted. I know now that I had no business driving a car like that at sixteen (or many other ages too), but because my dad had promised, my hopes were set on that car. My brother received a new car when he was sixteen, and I looked forward to my sixteenth birthday with great anticipation.

On the morning of my sixteenth birthday, I woke up early with anticipation of receiving my gift. My mom gave me a box with a toy model of a red Corvette and the spare key to her “land yacht” sedan. There would be no sports car for my sixteenth birthday, and, in fact, no car at all. My hopes were dashed. I had already, for months, imagined myself driving into my assigned parking space at my high school in my new car. I saw myself being accepted in groups where I was previously not welcome because, now, I had a cool car. This car was going to be a life-changing event for me! I did receive a mode of transportation—a slalom water ski. I am pretty sure I kept the ski longer than I would have kept the car.

With certainty, I know for all kinds of reasons that it would have been a very bad decision to give me that car. In fact, I am so sure of it that none of my sons received a car for their sixteenth birthdays. They were given limited use of a family car. The big difference was, from the time they were quite young, my husband and I told them they would not receive a car at sixteen. They had no expectations. I think they may have still had a glimmer of hope as their friends received nice cars, but we had been clear so that they would not be disappointed on their big day.

Telling people no is often a very difficult thing to do. Even more difficult, however, and what we often cannot see, is the disappointment that comes when expectations have been raised and then unmet. If we know that we cannot provide our time, attention, resources, or an affirmative answer, we just need to say so. It is the kinder thing to do. This principle is true whether responding to our family members, business associates, clients, or friends.

Have you ever been stood up for a

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