A Cup of Dust by Susie Finkbeiner

Author:Susie Finkbeiner [Finkbeiner, Susie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-8254-8639-5
Publisher: Kregel Publications
Published: 2015-08-26T04:00:00+00:00

Mama paced the living room, her shoes tap-tap-tapping as she walked. For all the carrying on with Meemaw before, Mama was quiet and pale as she could be. Her breaths came in short gasps.

“She’s going to be cold,” she said, holding Beanie’s one sweater in a lump against her chest.

Water made a tinkling song as Meemaw filled the tea kettle and put it on to boil. We didn’t have any tea, I knew that much. Mama had put it off for months, saying she didn’t need it. Still, Meemaw boiled water and Mama drank it just like it was, sipping it dutifully before she went back to pacing.

The clock struck eleven times. Outside, the sky was black as tar, and the air was just as thick. Mama had finally sat down on the davenport.

After the clock chimed twelve, Mama got up and went out to the porch. I followed her, so tired, but too scared to sleep. My sister had never taken off into the night before.

Standing next to Mama, I wrapped my arm around her waist, but she didn’t act like she even knew I was there. She just stood still, glaring into the black.

“I should go help them look,” she said. “I wish Tom would’ve let me help.”

Daddy had gotten Millard and a few other men to form a search party after an hour of looking on his own for Beanie. He’d taken his truck so he could cover more land. Most of the other men had lanterns with them. Every once in a while, I’d see a bright dot of flame or headlight off in the distance. Like fireflies.

Meemaw was inside the house, praying. Her quivery voice called out to God, loud as it could get. She begged God so much I was embarrassed for her. I didn’t think I had the stomach to listen to her much longer. Her praying made me even more afraid for my sister.

Leaning back against the porch, I said a little prayer of my own. Mine was inside my head or my heart, I couldn’t decide which. If God heard it, I couldn’t tell. Not right away, at least. All I could do right then was hope He was listening. I wondered if that was what faith felt like.

My prayer was just two words that I thought over and over. “Help Beanie.” That was all I could think of. I’d closed my eyes, hoping it would work even better.

Then Mama spoke.

“It’s him,” she said. Then she said it again, louder, and just about jumped off the porch. She ran down the path to the street.

Daddy’s truck rumbled along the road toward our house. The headlights were so bright against the dark I couldn’t see much else. As it got closer, I could see a man driving and two men riding in the back.

I could tell that the men in the back were Millard and Daddy. They leaned over something.

“Pearl, the door,” Mama shouted. “Hold the door.”

I pulled it wide and held it, afraid I wasn’t doing enough to help.

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