0670015563 (N) by Daniel Shapiro

Author:Daniel Shapiro
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2016-04-19T06:00:00+00:00

Take Stock of Your Connection

Now that you have a better sense of the five levels of connection, you can use them to evaluate the quality of your own relationships. Start by thinking of someone with whom you are in conflict, such as a family member, colleague, or neighbor. Take an honest look inward to assess your current level of connection. How recognized do you feel? How emotionally understood do you feel? Do you feel attached? Do you care for them? Feel hallowed kinship with them?

Consult the chart below, which can help you analyze relational tension. In a family business, for example, you may feel that your sibling does emotionally understand you, but not to the extent you would like. This suggests an empathy gap (level 2). Within each level of the framework, place a C at the place along the line where you perceive your current connection to be. Then ask yourself: What is my desired connection within this level? Place a D at that spot. The gap between your current and desired degrees of connection represents the amount of tension you feel. Note any gaps between your perceived and desired level of connection.

Now step into the other’s shoes and imagine how connected they feel to you. Do they feel you recognize them? Emotionally understand them? Revisit the chart below, considering their perceived level of connection—and whether they aspire for more or less.

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