Zombies at the Door, Planning for the Inevitable by Charles M. Pulsipher

Author:Charles M. Pulsipher [Pulsipher, Charles M.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: General, Fiction, Humorous
ISBN: 9781466247826
Google: TUAIywAACAAJ
Amazon: 1466247827
Barnesnoble: 1466247827
Goodreads: 13253154
Publisher: CreateSpace
Published: 2011-08-19T04:00:00+00:00

Dentist Offices

Chewing on people does a number to your teeth. Zombies will file into dentist offices in mass. When they find no one to help their rotten, chipped, and broken teeth, they’ll want to chew on more people. Ironic, I know, but zombies don’t really understand irony or care that you find it funny as they sink down to their gums in your forearm.

Killing Friends

I don’t know about you, but I try not to kill my friends. This is a pretty good idea if you want to have friends in the first place. Zombie infestation makes this more difficult, but not impossible.

If your friend gets bitten, don’t immediately lunge at them with your makeshift machete. The transformation isn’t instantaneous, despite what some movies would have you believe. You don’t really know how it works either. Your friend could be immune and then there goes the miracle cure for us all in an impulsive hatchety mess.

Does it matter that no one’s been immune yet? Nope, it only takes one.

If they do turn, let them go to wander around as long as you can safely release them to frolic with their fellow zombies. If not, lock them up somewhere. What if we do find a cure? I’m fairly sure it won’t work on dismembered zombies. Even if it did, who wants that?

Oh, and if you get bitten, repeat “friends are friends, not food” over and over again. Maybe you can be the first zombie to not attack your friends, or better yet, attack other zombies. That would be nice of you.

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