Zen and the Art of Killing Your Self by Chris Crabtree

Author:Chris Crabtree [Chris Crabtree]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: -
Publisher: BookBaby
Published: 2015-10-09T00:00:00+00:00

18 Revelations

“Welcome back.” The soft echo of her voice woke him.

“You’re…here?” he mumbled. He squeezed his fingers into his eyes. Shards of light splintered across his closed lids. He blinked them open to a hazy gray blur. “How long was I out?”

“It’s been three days,” she said, stroking his hair as she sat leaning against the side of the cave with his head in her lap.

“You’ve never stayed with me for so long.”

She had a knack for showing up when he needed her most, but never seemed to stay any longer than the time it took to save his life.

“You’ve never needed me like this.”

They were in a gray place on a gray morning, a cave set into the side of a mountain, or wherever he’d managed to crash-land this time.

“Where do you go, when you’re not with me?”

“My father’s work takes me many places,” she said.

“What do you do for him?”

“What do I do for you?”

“Save my life—and keep me from letting my passions destroy me.”

“There’s a larger purpose,” she said.

“For you or me?”

“It’s larger than us.”

“Ellie.”

“Yes.”

“I’ve never been so cold as I am now.”

“You’re broken.”

“I’m always broken.”

“But not like this.”

“Ellie?” he asked, as a drip of water echoed from somewhere deeper in the cave, “How cold would I be without you here?”

“Is it your wish to find out?”

“I never wanted you to see me like this.”

“How do you think I see you?”

“Broken, weak…a failure.”

“That’s not what my eyes see.”

“Show me.”

“You know I can’t.”

“I’ve heard it’s something the Angels can do.”

“We can share our sight, but it is only allowed for those to whom we are promised.”

“Who are you promised to?”

“I don’t know.”

“Can you be promised to a human?”

“It’s no longer permitted.”

“Why?”

She paused and stroked his hair. “Humans are too broken. They can never let go. A human always holds on to a piece of his Self out of fear of letting go, until it drains the Angel’s light. Being bound to him, she becomes broken like him, losing her sight, and living out her life in despair.”

“Has it ever worked?”

“It is rare.”

“I would fight an army all by myself to keep you from despair,” he replied. “‘Doubt thou the stars are fire, doubt that the sun doth move, doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt I love.’”

“But it wouldn’t work.”

“I would slay them all…all by myself.”

“And that is why. Your Self is the thing you must slay.”

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