You Don't Know Me, But . . by Clarke Carlisle

Author:Clarke Carlisle [Carlisle,Clarke]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781471128837
Publisher: Simon & Schuster UK

There are many ways in which football clubs differ, but if there is one thing that is identical the nation over it’s the lads’ night out. It is an event that is almost exclusive to British football, and the influx of overseas players has seen the frequency of these occasions dwindle somewhat, but it is still very much a part of the game. Whether it is in the guise of a team-bonding session, a pre- or post-season tour, a match celebration or drowning sorrows after a defeat, they all come down to the same thing: a free-for-all night of drinking and debauchery.

Just as with any other workplace, the Christmas party is the main event of the year and warrants meticulous planning. It has usually been a topic of conversation since September and someone will have been nominated to make all the necessary arrangements. It is a lot harder than you may think to get an establishment to welcome a party of 30 men, usually in fancy dress, whether we’re footballers or not. In actual fact, we often have to pay over the odds, not because as footballers we have the means to afford it, but because we have a reputation for causing more problems than it’s worth. And for very good reason.

The boys at York were planning their weekend jaunt the week before I left. They called a meeting to lay down the ground rules for the trip to Newcastle as follows:

• Compulsory attendance on Saturday and Sunday

• Compulsory fancy dress on the Sunday

• Must meet in the hotel lobby at midday Sunday

• No one is allowed to leave before 3pm Sunday

• No one is allowed to change their fancy dress outfit before 3pm Sunday

• No show is £250 fine

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