Women's Health Vagina University by Editors of Women's Health & Sheila Curry Oakes

Author:Editors of Women's Health & Sheila Curry Oakes
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Potter/Ten Speed/Harmony/Rodale
Published: 2018-05-15T04:00:00+00:00

LIKE A VIRGIN…

The definition of virginity isn’t as clear-cut as you might think. Virginity is most commonly defined as never having had sexual intercourse, and many people think of losing your virginity as having vaginal penetrative intercourse—specifically, penis-in-vagina sex. But are you are virgin if you have had oral or anal sex? If you are not heterosexual and engage in sexual activity that does not involve vaginal sex, are you still a virgin? Ultimately, how you define being a virgin largely depends on your sexuality, background, and culture.

There is a common misconception that if a woman loses or tears the stretchy tissue near the opening of the vagina, called the hymen, she is no longer a virgin, or “intact.” Her “cherry” has been popped. The hymen, however, can be torn through activities like sports, horseback riding, and using tampons, so a torn hymen does not make you not-a-virgin. It might mean that you just really like doing the splits in gymnastics. On the other hand, some women never tear their hymens at all as, contrary to popular belief, the hymen doesn’t actually cover the vaginal opening and can accommodate fingers, tampons, and, yes, a penis. Women’s bodies don’t come fitted with virginity detectors or freshness seals, and yet the hymen test has been used as a measure of virginity for eons. Even today, many people don’t understand this aspect of female anatomy.13

The first time you have vaginal sex—penis in vagina—or a finger is inserted into the vagina, it may hurt, and there may be some bleeding. The pain and bleeding can be due to tearing of the hymen or the result of tense muscles, not enough preparation or lubrication, or inexperience. Not everyone will bleed or feel pain the first time they have vaginal intercourse. Tell that to the people in the olden days who would check the sheets of newlyweds for spots of blood to confirm that the bride was a virgin…

Some cultures still place a great deal of importance on virginity, even going so far as to conduct “virginity tests” on girls for proof of virginity before marriage. And yes, those tests often entail the inspection of the hymen—the test that, as we just explained, doesn’t prove anything. Religious, social, and family background play a lot into whether or not you think being a virgin or losing your virginity is important, but no matter your views, it’s a moment that most women don’t take lightly and that they remember for their entire lives. We hope that as more information and knowledge about sex spreads, more women remember that first time as fun, pleasurable, and free from shame—even if the act itself is still a bit fumbly and awkward.

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