Winter of artifice; three novelettes by Nin Anaïs 1903-1977

Author:Nin, Anaïs, 1903-1977
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Anais Nin; Anais; Nin
Publisher: Denver, A. Swallow
Published: 1961-01-25T05:00:00+00:00

ficial elimination life itself was deformed. With the bad was lost the human warmth, the nearness.

There was no change in his love, but the mask was back again as soon as he returned to Paris. The whole pattern of his artificial life began again. He had stopped talking as he talked down south. He was conversing. It was the beginning of his salon life. There were always people around with whom he kept up a tone of hghtness and humor. In the evenings she had to appear in his salon and talk with the tip of her tongue about everything that was far from her thoughts.

This was the winter of artifice.

In that salon, with its stained-glass windows, its highly polished floor, its dark couches rooted into the Arabian rugs, its soft lights and precious books, there was only a fashionable musician bowing.

Although in reality he had not abandoned her, she felt he had passed into a world she would not follow him into. She felt impelled to act out the scene of abandon from beginning to end. She wept at the isolation in which her father's superficiality left her. She told him she had surrendered all her friends and activities for him. She told him she could not Hve on the talks they had in his salon. Each phrase she uttered was almost automatic.

It was the scene she knew best, the one most familiar to her even though it became an utter lie. It was the same scene which had impressed her as a child, and out of which she had made a life pattern. As she talked with tears in her eyes, she pitied herself for having loved and trusted her father again, for having given herself to him, for having expected everything from him. At the same time she knew that this was not true. Her mind ran in two directions as she talked, and so did her feelings. She continued the habitual scene of pain: "I gave myself

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