Windy and Chatty by Nick Richards

Author:Nick Richards
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Raindrop Publishing
Published: 2015-03-15T00:00:00+00:00

19

Germany, 1st December 1916

The smuggling of a blonde Windy and a voluptuous Chatty into Germany proved to be somewhat easier than expected. Many pockets of the German front lines were left sparsely manned as the majority had travelled to Alsace Lorraine to witness the football hysteria in person.

Had the British been more cynical in their military tactics they could have invaded Germany there and then and would have encountered surprisingly little resistance all the way to Berlin.

Fortunately, for the Germans, the game was as eagerly anticipated by the English soldiers. After all, it was one thing to be at war with a country, but it was another to play them at football. War would come and go, but the memory of who defeated who in ‘the footy’ ranked far higher in importance for the majority of the working class.

As all eyes focused on the ever shifting French-German border, the plan was to get Windy and Chatty to Munich so that they could blend with the German players, many of whom had been recalled from the front-line fighting to collectively train. Intelligence had picked up a number of communications in the past few days, and the first training meet was to take place at three o’clock on the twentieth of December, five days before the scheduled bout.

Windy and Chatty arrived at the Munich stadium with two days to spare. Seven days earlier, as they crossed deeper into German territory, the enemy troops and general population began to recognise Windy’s face from the dropped pamphlets and a sizeable escort formed to assist their idol, Ludvig Van Kessler, to the training ground. Crudely drawn posters of support were commonplace along the route, with ‘ Make Love to Me Ludvig’ being the most commonplace, held aloft by both women and men.

Windy’s interaction with the locals along the way was somewhat hampered by the fact that his conversational German was not exactly fluent, but suspicion of anything untoward was conspicuously absent. After all, footballers were not worshipped for their conversational skills.

With some silky juggling skills with a semi-decomposed turnip here and an oversized potato there, Windy had everyone he encountered eating out of his proverbial hand. The accompaniment of the disguised Chatty proved to be a masterstroke, in that every German who laid eyes on the leggy, buxom, brunette knew that only a footballer could woo such an aesthetically pleasing prize. Chatty, having no grasp of the German language, simply tittered girlishly and forearmed his bosoms together when the German men addressed him.

Much agonising had gone into selecting the German team but there had been little doubt that Windy would be named as the lone striker. They had been training solidly for four days and Windy had bagged himself twenty-five goals in the five-aside practice matches. Stepovers, nutmegs- shimmys left and shimmys right -Windy had the full menu of tricks and moves. Granted, most of the German defenders were suffering from trench rot and shell shock but even so, his goal tally was impressive.

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