Why You're Not Married . . . Yet: The Straight Talk You Need to Get the Relationship You Deserve by Tracy McMillan

Author:Tracy McMillan [McMillan, Tracy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Family & Relationships, General, Social Science, Sociology, Marriage & Family, Humor, Topic, Relationships
ISBN: 9780345532930
Google: r9bqLDQQ9NIC
Amazon: B005723KEO
Publisher: Ballantine Books
Published: 2012-05-28T16:00:00+00:00

6. You’re a Mess

Or, You Need to Get Your Shit Together

1. Do you seem to be attracted to—or to attract—guys with major issues?

2. Are you keeping certain behaviors secret from even your closest friends?

3. Looking at your life right this minute, would you say you’re ready to nurture a man and/or a child?

HERE’S SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT. Imagine the man of your dreams has been watching you on closed-circuit television for the past thirty-six hours. Without your knowing it, there were cameras in every room of your house, recording everything you’ve done, and now the guy you’ve been waiting for all these years is watching it. Every last hour of it.

What is he seeing?

Your messy room? Your secret ice cream binge? Your one-night stand?

And when he’s done watching that, he’s going to get copies of your credit card bills, your health records, your DMV history, and the receipt from your last trip to the grocery store. He’s going to know everything about you: your income, your work evaluations, your tax returns, and what’s in your storage space. He might not read your diary, but he won’t really have to, because he’s there all the time.

Does this freak you out? Because it is, essentially, what marriage is going to be like. Whoever becomes your husband is going to see you when you’ve got a giant zit on your cheek, is going to be aware of your vaginal yeast infection, and is going to hear you throwing up when you’ve got the flu. And that’s just the stuff that everybody has. What about the stuff you do that you know isn’t even normal? Another person is going to have full access to the most intimate routines and details of your life. You might not love this, but you can handle it.

Unless you’re a mess.

A mess is just what it sounds like: untidy. Messiness is not something anyone wants in a roommate or a co-worker, much less a spouse. Having a mess along on your life ride is like finding yourself in a Western where somehow Jennifer Jason Leigh in Single White Female—or Reese Witherspoon in that pink lawyer-girl movie—has ended up in your covered wagon, and now you’re attempting to cross the Rockies with her in tow. In other words, if you’re a mess, you’re a drag.

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