Why Should Britain Tremble - A Submariner's Tale by Chas Cooke

Why Should Britain Tremble - A Submariner's Tale by Chas Cooke

Author:Chas Cooke [Cooke, Chas]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Published: 2012-09-13T00:00:00+00:00


The young officer just sat there and looked at the papers on his desk. I turned on my heel and stormed out, slamming the door so hard on the way out that I heard the portrait of the Queen hit the floor as it was shaken from the wall where it had previously hung. Oh bollocks. I had thirty six hours to find somewhere to live or Caroline and I would be returning from our honeymoon and going to separate addresses.

I walked to the sports pitches and I was in just the mood for rugby. It was an excuse to legally take out my aggression on some unfortunate bloke from the opposition. I got changed in silence and made my way out onto the pitch. I looked around the field and picked out the biggest bloke I could see in the other half of the pitch. There he was, a gorilla in a rugby shirt. I was going to have him as soon as I could get near him. The whistle blew and the ball sailed through the air from the centre spot toward me. I caught it cleanly and was immediately splattered into the ground by a horde of hairy arsed sailors dressed as rugby players. A ruck formed over me and then I felt a searing pain in my left leg. I was screaming and as the ruck broke up and play moved off I was left flat on the mud. I looked at my leg and was amazed to see that the sock had been torn off of the calf and the side of my leg was already twice its normal size and black, not with mud, but with blood under the skin. Some bastard had stamped on me about four times. I couldn’t move my leg. Oh great, that was all I needed, no house, no feeling in my leg and, unless I was fixed very quickly, no bloody wedding. I was going to be the flavour of the month with Caroline and her family now.



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